Did you know: it is scientifically proven that people who have more birthdays live longer

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Why did the chicken cross the road? because he had legs.

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why does chuck norris not have a middle name? because his parents didn't want him to have one.

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Whats worst than finding a worm in your apple? Going to antijoke.com instead of anti-joke.com

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why can't johnny compete in the track race? because he has no feet.

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Why did the man shoot himself? Because he already shot his wife.

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What did the mouse say to the elephant that sat on him? Nothing, he died on impact.

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Q. How do you know when you've had too much too drink? A. Your dead(No because when your dead you can't think.)

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What do you call a cup that holds liquid A cup

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What do you call a black man on a rope swing? Usually whatever his first name is, but if he goes by a nickname you should use that

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A newly wed couple is at the beach and the wife asks for sunscreen and the man says he forgot it in the car. He goes to the car only to find that the car had been broken into. He goes to call his wife and they go back to the car only to find that the car had been stolen. #Turns out the thief broke the window to steal the car but saw the owner coming and hid behind a bush and upon the man going to call his wife he continued with his mission

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How do you tell a clown his fly is open? Say sir your fly is open. Then beat him with a pipe until you cant tell what used to be his face.

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Three penguins sitting in a tub. The first penguin says to the third penguin, "Hey would you pass the soap?" The penguin in the middle says, "What do you think I am a typewriter?"

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How do you save a drowning Asian teenage boy? You get him out of the water.

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What is red and smells like blue paint? Read paint.

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A man walks into a bar. He asks for a beer. One of the bar tenders twlls him they are all out. He takes out his gun. He has 1 bullet and there are 3 bar tenders. He wants to kill them all. What does he do? A: Shoots 1 and pegs bricks at the other two.

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what the deference between a priest and acne well the acne doesn't come on the kids face tell hes thirteen

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What characterizes a good joke? The lack of a punch line.

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Rarity: "So, what is that splendid frock of yours saying?" Maud Pie: "It doesn't talk. It's a dress."

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a dyslecstic son seys to his mum can i have a mcdonald for tea the mum seys ye if you can spell mcdonlds and the son seys fuk that im having a kcf

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Why did the boy fart on his sister? Because he was sitting on her, and happened to pass gas.

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A kid walks into a bar. He leaves wasted.

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Why did the duck walk on the moon? Because it was his lifelong goal

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A man walks into a bar, the bartender says, "why the long face?" the man replies, "my wife has terminal cancer and has been given 2 weeks to live."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops