What did farmer brown say when he lost his tractor? Where is my tractor?

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A pigeon walks into a bar. Someone left the door opened.

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Hamsters are a lot like cigarettes. They're completely harmless until you put one in your mouth and light it on fire.

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What happens when Lord Voldemort tries to kill Harry Potter? He is unsuccessful.

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Johnny had 100 chocolate bars. He ate 95 and gave 3 to his friend. What does Johnny have now? Diabetes

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A princess decided to kiss a frog in the hopes that it would turn into a handsome prince, as she found none of her suitors to her taste. The frog was incredibly poisonous and she died of total organ failure three days later.

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Why do black people like fried chicken?? Because it was fried

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What's green and red all over? That terminally ill child's vomit.

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What do you call a window you can see throu? A window.

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Wanna hear a joke? Niklas Bendter being good at soccer. Wanna hear a funnier joke? Your Mom Wanna hear the funniest joke?

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Stop reading these anti-jokes and go study for your externals!

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Q:Why did the boy drop his ice-cream? A: Because he got hit by a bus.

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Why did Abraham Lincoln fall asleep at the movie? He was shot several times in the back of the head.

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Why were 5 tall white guys sitting on a bench? They were in the NBA

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9/11

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An under aged girl walks into a bar. She couldn't have done so without a fake ID and early development.

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If life gives you lemons, You throw them as hard as you can at the nearest stranger. If life gives you melons, You're probably dyslexic.

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How does a boy with no arms or legs cross the street? He doesn't

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Q: What was Steve Jobs' last words before he died? A: I Think i might die.

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A man went to the doctor and told him he was having the strangest dream. "First I was a tee pee Then I was a wigwam A tee pee, a wigwam. Do you have any idea what could be wrong?" The doctor looked at the man and said "You have aids."

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Robin Williams walks into a bar. The bartender says why the long face? To which Robin Williams replies, "Because I'm going to kill myself."

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What is funnier than an anti-joke? My SAT scores.

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"Whats that boy? Timmy fell down the well??" Bout time

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What happened when the chicken crossed the road? It entered a KFC and had the unfortunate suprise of having its head cut off.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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