Q: why does the cat go out of the house by the window A: It doesn't the window is closed

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Why is Stevie Wonder always so happy? Probably becuase he's a highly succesfull multi-million dollor recording artist with 26 grammys and 1 oscar

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How do you make a clown stop smiling? hit him with an axe

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why did the chicken cross the road ...WHO FREAKING CARES!!!!

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust. What's worse than the holocaust? Finding two worms in your apple.

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In soviet russia, the cow milks you!

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A jewish man walks into a bar has a drink, then walks out of the bar.

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whats worse then getting sat on by a hippo getting sat on by Matt Ross

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? A bug in your nut.

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You know whats worse than an anti-joke? Practically Anything.

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How do you make a clown stop smiling? Hit him in the face with an axe.

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What do you call 20 blondes in a freezer? dinner

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the sky is green no it is not

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Roses are red Violets are blue Tulips are white Dandelions are yellow

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How do my feet smell? Oh wait. They can't. Feet are not sentient independent beings and therefore cannot experience the five senses, including smell.

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Have you heard the one about the fat woman and the dead baby? The woman was actually pregnant, not fat, and just had a miscarriage.

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What did the old Hispanic man say to the young black woman in the Laundromat? I don't know cause I goofed in school and didn't pay attention in spanish class.

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What's similar between a black man and jelly babies? Nothing

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if you have 5 oranges and 15 ice cubes, how many pancakes can you fit on the roof? red, because aliens dont wear shirts.

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Mary had a little lamb... The doctor fainted

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Fine Nero, but I will be keeping an eye on you.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Today is Valentines Day I am depressed

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whats long, black, and smells like shit? a big turd

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I will see it when I believe it, as far as your order or whatever goes, I have already taken a look, and its nothing for me, you hide behind idealism yet use cruel methods and inhuman tactics in order to justify your means, you hide behind a shell of fucking "charm" and employ people to harass others. YOU ARE NO FUCKING BETTER THAN THE REST! YOU ARE BENEATH ME! As for that sister fucking bullshit, joke is on you, I do not have a sister! I bet that was one of your fucking "Nero`s" all six billion of your fucking personality disorders. Moral: I am the FUCKING MORAL MAN! And while I do not have a sister to rape, ill get down with yours.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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