Two fish are swimming and hit a concrete wall...dam

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did Isaac run from his mother? She tried to kill him because God said so. Christianity.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How did the old man die? He was shot after eating a rather large watermelon while skydiving out of a helicopter, boob fighting 5 toddlers.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How can you get an asian kid to flunk a class? You can't.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

If George Washington was the first president, and Barack Obama is the latest, how old is my grandma?

thumb_up thumb_down +2

my friend got in a car wreck,he lost his left arm and left leg. how is he now? Hes all right.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A man goes to the pound to adopt a dog and sees a very shaggy dog and says "WOW! Thats a shaggy dog I'll take it!" So the man takes home his new dog and decides to enter the dog in the towns anual shaggy dog contest. and wins. After winning the town shaggy dog contest he moves up to the county shaggy dog contest. theres no competition. Now the man and his dog enter into the state shaggy dog contest, the states shaggiest dogs are all competing. the man wins. Finally the man and his dog are in the prestigious national shaggy dog contest. The judge walks up to the man and says "your dog isn't very shaggy"

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's worse than a joke An ANTIJOKE!

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme But this one doesn't.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Ask me if I am a Truck Are You a Truck No

thumb_up thumb_down +2

a man was cooking a tortilla. what did he say when he dropped it while flipping the tortilla? oops i dropped my tortilla

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Killing people is not illegal just ask a soldier

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why couldn't the melons get married? As gay cantaloupes, their jurisdiction didn't allow for same-sex marriage.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

besides saying "Oh, Yeah" and punching down walls, what does the kool-aid man do? drink cool aid

thumb_up thumb_down +2

what did the philosopher say, when he considered the transient nature of life in relation to ones own personal and egocentric grasp upon circumstance and purpose? massive erection.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why was the boy sad? He had a frog stapled to his forehead.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Big feet on a man means he has, Nothing, a man's foot size has no relation to the size of his penis.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Two muffins are in an oven. They say absolutely nothing because they're muffins and not sentient.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Q

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why was 6 afraid of seven? well if 7 8 9 then what happened to the rest?

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did Jimy fell down the stairs, because he was adopted.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the Mexican jump the fence? He was at his neighbors house and it was shorter to cut through yards than to walk to his house

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Sarah lost both arms in a car accident Knock knock Who's there? Not sarah. Roses are red Violets are blue Wow. Clever Knock knock Who's there? Still not Sarah, as she is in a serious condition at her local hospital, and so is fighting for her life.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Roses are red, Violets are blue, In Soviet Russia, Poem writes you.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops