How do you stop a blind kid from walking into oncoming traffic? .................to late!!!!!!!

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When is a door not a door? When your house burns down.

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What's worse than the holocaust? The holocaust was one of the most terrible incidents in history there are very few things worse than.

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Joseph Coney could die... or worse... he could do anything but that....

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Yo momma's so ugly that she could not find another partner after the tragic death of your father

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How do you end a sentence

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How many bears does it take to screw in a light bulb? None; it’s a fairly menial task requiring little more than a single human hand. Requisitioning any number of bears for the effort would be an extremely dangerous “Rube Goldberg”-esque solution to simple problem.

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Stephen Hawking

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Have you ever had Ugandan food? Neither have they.

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? Because it broke...

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You wanna hear what's totally out of this world? The moon

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Chris Brown can do no wrong. False he acquired several wrongs through his mistreatment of several women.

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We could have had it all Rolling in the deep You have my heart inside of your hand As you've just now inexplicably ripped it out of my ribcage.

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What's the difference between Tom and Jerry? One is a cat, and the other is a mouse.

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Knock Knock Who's there? My foot. My foot who? My foot in your ass.

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What's worse than having cancer? Two people having cancer

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second koala fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first one. Why did the third koala fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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What did the prostitute say to the president of the United States? Good morning Mr. President. She had managed to leave the sex industry, finished her education and was doing secretarial work in the White House.

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Where did the girl go when a bomb was dropped on her? Everywhere

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What is orange and smells like oranges? Oranges.

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knock, knock who's there you yoohoo i don't like chocolate milk!

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

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Roses are Red grass is greener every time i think of you i touch my weiner

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A man is boarding a plane. The attendant asks if he has a passport. The man says no, and leaves.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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