Tom: Knock knock! Guy: Who's there? Tom: Carrot. Guy: Impossible.

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Two cats are sat on a window ledge. One cat looks to the other and says "Meoww".

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What did the blind deaf kid get for Christmas? Cancer.

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Whats black and white and red all over. A penguin in a blender.

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Roses are blue Violets are too I've got Alzheimer Roses are red

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven's bigger.

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What's the most confusing day in the ghetto? Fathers day.

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why did the man shave his balls cause they were unnecessarily hairy

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what do you get when you cross a puma and a turkey? A horrible abomination of life that begs to be killed.

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Q:What did the deaf kid say to the blind kid? A: nothing deaf kids can't talk they can only have conversations with their hands,which would be pretty useless at this moment cause the blind kid can't see his hand guestures

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G

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What did the plant say to the human. Nothing.

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why did the man jump out of the plane without a parachute? Im not really sure, maybe to commit a slow and painful suicide.

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How do you help a chronic drug addict? Buy him or her more drugs. They NEED it.

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What did the Mexican say to the Pirate? Hi, Steve!

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Why did the Skyrim guard stop adventuring? He was killed in action and his family misses him terribly.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from K.F.C

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Why did the clown fall out of the tree? He got shot.

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knock knock who's there? Ah Maj. Ah Maj who? (say it outloud)

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So the word RAPING does not work unless you type it in caps? Raping... Did it censor? No? Never mind then... Wow, catchphra Never mind... Its a sign X-files theme.... Teleports at your house: Hah bitch never you ugly, or not ugly enough... Urgh, nevermind, I mean some ugly chicks know their stuff but you know... Anyway NeroMetal The sociopath not the fucking Cultist piece of shit that use my morals as a code system? YOU THINK WE THE SAME? EEEEEEH! Me raping you says we are not... And ill find you ;) Or your sister or your mom, I mean h0m0? You think im a pervert or something?

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Q: What's worse than having a terrorist throw a fridge at you? A: World War 5

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A black man and a white man crash their cars. they promptly exchange insurance information and apologize to each other about the inconvenience.

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Why did Sally have a headache? She had a Brian tumor the size of an eggplant.

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There was a boy named Steven, a son of a rich business man. Steven was an interesting child though, as he always kept care to one of his possessions. That possession being a plain, old, brown box. On Steven's fourth birthday his father said he could have anything in the world he wanted, just name it. Steven said he wanted two quarters to put in his box. The father agreed and gave his son two quarters to put in his box. Every year the father would say he could have anything he wished for, and Steven just asked for two quarters. Nothing more. On Steven's 18th birthday he got into a severe car crash. The father stood over the hospital bed where Steven lay. "I can get you the best doctors in the world. They can save you, please let me get you this for your birthday!" The boy shook his head. "All I want is two quarters" Steven replied. The father was distraught. "Son, tell me why you've wanted these two quarters every year you have been alive instead of anything else in the world". The boy complied. "Fine I'll tell you." Then Steven died before he could tell the father. The End.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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