What's worse than getting raped by a bear? Getting raped by two bears.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

hey chris what yu doing wit my back pack? using it..

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Do you know what's sad about 4 black men driving off a cliff in a convertible? They were my friends.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why did Sally have a headache? She had a Brian tumor the size of an eggplant.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

how do you prevent a chicken from contracting aids?? you make him a little chicken condom.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What's a good joke? Not this one.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Just checked my Tesco burgers in the fridge and they're still within the use by date.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Mario walks into a bar A yak walks into a bar An orange walks into a bar 30 men barf in a juicy yot

thumb_up thumb_down +23

A boy and a girl are each granted a wish Girl: I want us to be lovers until the end of the world Boy: I want the world to end

thumb_up thumb_down +23

If a chicken and a half layed an egg and a half in a day and a half how many pancakes does it take to shingle a roof? -A banana has no bones

thumb_up thumb_down +23

the lemon was sweet.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What's worse than having you're leg fall asleep? Getting Polio

thumb_up thumb_down +23

roses are red violets are blue corey mills is and got raped by you

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Wanna hear a dirty joke? A guy in mud.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What happened to the man who lost his job? He couldn't support his family so they all became homeless and eventually died of starvation.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree Because it died

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What's the difference between a black guy and a white guy? One has a slightly darker skin complexion

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Whats Pink and fluffy? Yellow fluff thats been dyed pink :D

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why couldn't the man stop dancing? Because he had Parkinson's.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

When birds fly south for the winter they fly in a V formation. one side is always longer than the other. why is that? Because there are more birds on that side

thumb_up thumb_down +23

A kid walks into a bar, everyone fled the bar because they were all afraid of goats

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What do you call a black person flying a plane? A pilot.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Q: what's the difference between a dead baby and a watermelon A: well the first noticable difference is that the watermelon tastes better.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops