your mammas so big that she needs paint rollers to put on lipstick

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It is wrong to strip a homeless man of his clothes and chew his face off. Note to self: Explain this to someone before they have taken bath salts.

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What do you call the offspring of an elephant? A baby elephant.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I've got Alzheimer's, Who are you?

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95556

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A: Knock Knock B: (No Reply) Nobody is home and the man trying to get in will come back later and try again.

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You can lead a horse to water, but you can't suck its dick.

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Why did everyone die in the world? Its 2012.

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why did the chicken cross the road? because he was trying to kill himself in the fastest and easiest way due to his drinking problems, which in the first place separated him him from his wife, who is fighting with him in court for custody of there only child ,Steven. He can not even pay the rent on his apartment or hold a job to pay child support..he is also in debt.

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How many days did abraham lincoln take a crap for? Turquoise because pancakes cannot fly without wings during the summer unless giraffes smell pineapple on tuesday.

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Hey i just met you, and this us crazy! Heres some toilet paper, wipe my ass maybe?

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Why is 6 scared of 9? Because 9 is a zombie.

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Q: What do you call a room full of black people? A: A Social Gathering.

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what do you call a cow with no legs? ground BEEF!!!!

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Woody Allen once said, "I have had many romantic relationships in my life that were both complex and humorous."

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Sammy bought 48 donuts. He ate 36. What was Sammy left with? Diabetes. Sammy was left with diabetes.

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It is so hot out here, that it could melt an ice cube that was once in the freezer!

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What did Sherlock Holmes say when he saw a very pretty lady? Hello

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Why didn't the little boy have arms or legs? Because they were savagely ripped off of him by a black bear on a very unfortunate camping trip.

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why does clive keep getting crunk? because no girl satisfies him as much as geros

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

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Q: Why Cant The T-Rex Clap? A: No, Its Not Because His arms are to short, Its because he's Dead You Idiot...

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What did the ice cream man ask the little boy? Want some ice cream?

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a young boy once lost his mind and then his parents weeped because their son had been decapatated in a horrible motorcycle accident caused by a drunk who had just killed his wife and children and was running from the cops....

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops