What is big white and will kill you if it falls out of a tree in winter A refrigerator

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What is worse than losing your phone charger... Being viciously raped by a group of angry vegans feminist mad at you for eating a burger, while walking out of Hooters.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Feminism.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What is better than one trillion dollars? One trillion and one dollars... duh.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What did the man with one eye say to the woman with one leg at 2 p.m? Good afternoon.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Mary had a little lamb... The doctor fainted

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What do an elephant and a can of soup have in common? They both can't ride a bike

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A dog walks into a club. Just kidding I hit the dog with a club multiple times, killed it, and went to jail for the murder of an innocent animal.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A Jew walks into a gas chamber...

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What do you call the black stuff in between an elephant's toes? Depending on the location of the elephant it is either dirt or it may be tar in the case of an elephant in captivity.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Knock knock. Whos there? I am you dumbass im standing right next to you.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why was the baby crying? Because he was tied to a railroad track. How did the baby die? He had a bomb strapped to him. How did the bomb explode? It got ran over by a train.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Did I tell you about when I hit a cat with my car? No, what happened? I hit a cat.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He got hit in the head with a brick.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why didn't Clemson accept John Burns' college application? Because John Burns was wanted for five counts of first degree murder.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

knock knock whos there? aids aids who? aids aids who? i dont go away

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What did the orphan kids get for Christmas? Cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What's worse than finding a holocaust in your apple? A worm.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Three Blondes were walking when they come upon some tracks. The first blonde says they're deer tracks. The second blonde says they're elk tracks. The last blonde says they're moose tracks. While they are all arguing about what type of tracks they are, they get hit by a train.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

There were three men walking across the road and it started to rain

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A horse walks into a bar and the bar asks "Why the long face?". The horse replies " I am deeply troubled by the anthropomorphic aspects of my existence and the extent to which I am now protected by law."

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why isn't the dog a rebublican? Because it's a dog.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What's the oppicite of brown???? Something not brown.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops