Kanye West walks into a bar. As he is a very popular celebrity, he is recognized instantly. The patrons mob him, asking for pictures and autographs. He is in a pleasant humour that evening, so he indulges them. Some laughs are had, he buys lots of drinks, and takes home two beautiful women. Such is the life of a celebrity. ...but that still doesn't make him happy.

Why did the koala fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second koala fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first one. Why did the third koala fall out of the tree? Peer pressure!

Roses Are Red , Violets Are Blue , Go Die .

A Chinese man fails a math test

What did romeo say to Juliet? A lot of things, Then he gave her a flower.

How do you wake a clown up? By pouring vinegar in his eyes.

Q:what did the 14 year old girl from Tennessee say to her dad when she lost her virginity? A: Get off of me

Irish man English man and a Scottish man all in a plane they jump out then they land

A man walks into a shop and picks up some items for his party. He walks out of the shop without paying for the items. The police are promptly called and the man receives a 4 year sentence in prison for shoplifting.

Why did Suzie's friend put rubbish in her mouth? Because Suzie is a rubbish bin.

Why isn;t the square root of peanut butter very athletic?.Actually, peanut butter isn't a mathematical equation nor does it have the necessary chemical make-up, physical properties or the biological construct that is required for it to be able to be considered athletic, stupid. You now have a inoperable tumor at the base of your spine. And I fucked your dad and shat in his mouth. Also, the cure for leukemia is my diarrhoea, you faggot.

Roses are reb, Violets are dlue, Forgive my spelling, I'm byslexic.

Why did the turtle cross the road? Because there was a chicken stapled to his face.

Knock knock. Knock knock. Knock knock. I'm hammering nails. Knock knock.

Why were 5 tall white guys sitting on a bench? They were in the NBA

A German and an American walk into a bar. George W. Bush got hurt, but Albert Einstein didn't.

What did Jamaal say when he was in Walmart? I'm Jamaal and I'm in Walmart.

Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house?!?! Neither has he

Why did the man with no arms or legs fall out of the tree? Because he got shot.

I was there when Lebron James hit a home run to win the Super Bowl.

Your Mom is so fat, that she went to the doctor's and they told her that she was overweight and needed to get a stomach staple in order to make her lose weight

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead, ok!

your brother so fine that hes skinney

What do you call a dog? A cat. What do you call a cat? A banana.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...