Whats long,hard, and has c.u.m in ig? Cucumber....also my wiener

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whats black, white, and red all over? your mum

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Now on breaking news!: Man found hanged upside down in a forest with 403 lethal knife-stabs in his back! Policeman: "We have concluded this is indeed the worst case of suicide ever"

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what do you get when you cross a baby and a car a baby shaped dent, and a dead baby

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Why couldn't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because he has parkinsons and therefore couldn't keep his hand steady.

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A boy walks home from school. On his way home some bullies stole his kite. When the boy got home he was greeted by a police officer that told him that his parents had been killed. The boy started crying and the Police officer said " whats wrong?". The boy replied " some bullies stole my kite".

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Why couldn't Jimmy run in the track race? Because he has been paralyzed since he was 3, due to a horrible accident

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What do you call an underground train full of professors? It's very unlikely that the passengers on an underground train would consist entirely of professors, unless it was a special service booked solely for the attendees of highly specialised lectures which required each audience member to have completed a professorship.

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when there's trouble lurking in your neighbourhood, who you gonna call? The local authorities.

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When did the War of 1812 begin? 1963.

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Yo momma's such a whore that she violates the sanctity of marriage by sleeping with other men other than her husband.

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How do you drown a blonde? Weigh her down and throw her into a body of water.

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what is yellow with red all over tweety in a blender

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whats worse than dieing in an airplane? jumping out of the airplane to save yourself and emediatly getting shredded by the massive engine you did not have the wits to see.

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Why did the man think inside of the box? Because he was inside of the box.

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ok last night i found a pic of romney saying "if i win the election 8 million people will have no job" then Obama says hey romney now that i won the election it would be 8 million and one stupid.

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My mates dad hasnt had a job in 20 years... its probably why there all homless outside my house.

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What did Jesus say when he was nailed to the cross? Please, not the nails.

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Q. Why did the little girl drop her ice cream? A. She dropped it as she got into the van

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Knock Knock, Who's there? Me, get naked bitch!

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Twelve billion Nero, you puppy dog you hot blooded latino man. Why cant I control it myself?

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Once upon a time there was a man that was exercising and he pulled a muscle and had to have his arm removed. The end.

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Knock knock Who's there? John Oh hello John come on in mate.

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why did the blue berry cross the road

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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