you know why they're called ear wigs, right? cause they go in your ears! then they wig out? no, they kill you.

Yo momma, she so fat, she needs to buy extra-large clothes.

What's blue and smells like sky? Sky

What's yellow and can't swim? A bulldozer.

how do you get a clown off a swing. hit it with an apple in his nuts

Yo mama so fat she runs the risk of stroke, heart disease, or diabetes

What's been hit millions of times? A woman married to an abusive husband.

Q: what did the emo girl use to check her email? A: A computer.

-Knock, knock. -Is it the pizza man? -No. -Then go away.

What did Sally get for chirstmas? Cancer

Why was the boy seeing stars? It was night time.

So a guy says to his dog "hey man when you piss in the toilet can you please flush, just because I don't like to look at your pee." then the dog sits back and says "...woof !!"

Why couldn't the blind man see his friend? He was behind him.

Roses are red, violets are red, sunflowers are red, HOLY CRAP, MY GARDENS ON FIRE!

What's white and black and red all over A nun with a spear throug her head

Why couldn't John go to the store for his mother? He had no legs...

The first cow: are you worried about mad cow disease? the second cow: no, im a helicopter

A blonde and a brunette are walking down a street. What a great way to parade and recognise the various colours that lie upon ones head.

A man gets a new job working for his boss. The boss gives him more and more work and less pay. The man finely gets fed up, beats his boss in a fight, quits his job, and starts his own business. Historians later speculated that the man's life would serve as a perfect national allegory for the USA.

how many Arabs and Jews can you fit on a bus? The bus in question is a 56 seater,so 56. If you cram some people in the aisles you could probably fit 65 if you didn't care about anyone's comfortability sheesh you might even for in 100 or more.

Why did the Jews go into the shower? Because they had just finish a basketball game and they needed to freshen up.

What's the difference between a horse and a chicken? They're different species and also the chicken is female, while the horse I was referring to is male.

Q: How many babies does it take to paint a wall? A: It depends on how hard you throw them.

Why did the blond woman sell her water skis? She was in a horrible accident and will never walk again.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...