- Anti Joke

How do you keep an idiot in suspense?....

a chicken crosses the street to ask a man: what is an anti-joke? the man replies: a joke the chicken responds: so why do they call it an ANTI-joke? the man answers: why did the horse walk into a bar? the chicken retorts: you can't answer a question with a question! the man replies: you're a figment of my imagination, nah nah nah nah i can't hear you.

Q: What is the difference between a jew and a pizza? A: The pizza does not scream in the oven.

What do u call a man who sells hot dogs on the street? A Mexican

Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

A man walks into the office for an appointment. The doctor performs the usual examinations, before asking the man to turn his head and cough. As is standard, he feels the man's testicles to check for irregularities. The man jokes, "Say doc, couldn't you at least ask me to dinner first?" The doctor replies, "You have testicular cancer." He died a month later.

What did the Atheist say in church? His best friend's eulogy.

why was the woman crying? her son killed 5 people.

Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, I was asking you.

A rabbi and a priest walk into a bar, they manage to have a delightful evening, despite their religious differences.

When life gives you lemons, you are most likely in the fruit section of the grocery store.

why was the little boy crying? he was at his mother's funeral.

You know you're dyslexic when life gives you melons.

Lets just say some of my boys owed me a favor, and that if we where all "clean slate workers" I would never have been able to pull some favors out of the higher ups. As far as for "these Shadows" of yours, I know nothing, while I invented the encoding format for the messages you use, I intend keeping it to myself. People here will still assume this is bullshit unless you get somebody to hack this site, believe me, its pretty damn easy to retrieve whatever data might have been lost.

i had sex.

The war against the moral men was long and hard, yet the Victor stands, the most dark of metals. Nero Metal, enjoy 2016 as much as you can enjoy both hellfire and the wrath of heaven against you, as there will be years no more for mankind to Count, trust not my Words, but the visions in Your head, and if you doubt Your sanity, know that by september the 13th, you will not be the only one. The end of the children of God is upon you, as you took his, he shall take Yours, eye for an eye, tooth for a tooth... Rest well... ...While you still can`t

what did the little girl with cancer get for christmas? cancer

quantum physics?

What did the little boy say when he was asked what he wanted to be when he grew up? Adolf Hitler

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 beat the crap out of 8.

What happens when you take a break from reality? Nothing, it's impossible, unless you live in a virtual world.

What do you call a cow without legs? Disabled.

What do you do when you see someone from the kkk? Accept what you saw and move on with your day

How many Santa Clauses does it take to change a light bulb? Santa Claus isn't real.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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