A man arrives at his work late, his boss says "why are you late?" Then man replys "...................." he was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

did you hear the one about the elephant with a screwdriver? me neither...

thumb_up thumb_down +7

THIS ONE TIME MY DOG ATE A WHOLE CHEESECAKE

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A horse walks into a bar. The barman says 'who the f*ck let a horse in here, get it out now'.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Colloqiual irregularities are a significant part of the English language, and excellent example of this is between can and may.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Roses are black, Violets are black, Everything's black, I'm blind.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Bläeghen-Fassybìll-No?cheb!

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A man walks outside and sits down to eat his sandwich.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Whats funnier than a massacre? Everything.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

3 men walk into a bar. The 4th one ducks.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Two polar bears, oddly enough, are sitting in a bathtub. One of them asks "Could you pass the soap?" The other obliges and gives him the soap.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why was the baby flying? Because it's face was stapled to the propeller of a helicopter.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What do you call a shoe with milk in it? Shoe

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Wanna here a funny joke? Will is straight HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA hes gay

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What did the kid with no legs get for Christmas? A new pair of shoes

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A man walks into a bar. He leaves a large rucksack by the pool table and walks out. The rucksack then explodes and kills 13 people because it is the height of the Troubles and the man is a member of the IRA, who targetted the bar because it is regularly visited by British servicemen. The media extensively cover the story, and the two sides of the conflict in Northern Ireland decide that the bloodshed must stop, which eventually made way to the Good Friday agreement of 1998.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What could be happier than a fat guy eating 20 pies? The guy he bought it from!

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What would a gay, transgender, mexican man say to another? We could have butt sex.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

How many feminists does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two. One to screw in the light bulb and one to suck my dick.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

what did the McDonald's cashier say to the fat man ordering a large chocolate milkshake? you want some fries with that shake?

thumb_up thumb_down +7

"Good Morning, I'm Dr. Pepper" "Like the drink?" "Huh... yes... just like the drink" Would you mind to sit right here Mr..... "Nike" "Oh, just like the shoes" "How do you dare!"

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A man goes up to an old friend and says: "Help me, I just found out that my friend is gay! What should I do!?" The other man replies: "If there is no problem, I cannot help you... Yet, there is one. Your homophobia. I suggest that you see a therapist immediately and I hope that you can get over the fact of the contemplation of a sexuality."

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops