Why is Helen Keller Blind and Deaf? Because she can't drive!... oh no wait I screwed that up.

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? If the socket were 20 feet in the air, it might take 4 blondes with really good balance. Then again, it might not matter how many blondes there are because there are no replacement light bulbs, the don't have transportation, and the nearest store is 10 miles away. In conclusion, I would say that the number of blondes it takes to screw in a light bulb is dependent on the individual situation at hand.

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Simon says.. Nothing because he's deaf.

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a giraffe walks into a bakery, "can I have 101 brown loafs please?" the baker answers: "hmm I've got only 100 loafs is that ok too?" the giraffe says: "why the hell would I need a 100 loafs?!"

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I insist, you go ahead. See you around. how about in four six hours?

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what is blue and smells like fish? blue fish ;)

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Why did Kelly lose all interest in men? An aneurysm in her brain popped

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Whats better than winning an award? Not having your family shot to death

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How do you keep an elephant from charging? Ask nicely.

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What do you do to get someone to shut up? You hit with a brick

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what do you call a cow on a rollercoaster? a very dangerous and unlikely event

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Q. Why did the chicken cross the road? A. He was stapled to the baby.

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My dad calls me a son of a bitch and I'm like "hey! You married her"

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What happens if you drop a baby of a cliff It dies

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting thrown in to a car and raped violently.

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whats worse then getting sat on by a hippo getting sat on by Matt Ross

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Why did the man buy his wife expensive flowers? It was their anniversary and he is a faithful husband.

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What's green and invisible? This cabbage in my hand.

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How did the blonde trip the brunette? She stuck out her foot

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What do you call a man who is walking into walls and poles? A blind man who really needs your help.

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Michael J Fox may not be able to draw a perfect circle but he sure can jerk off like a champ

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Why did the stoner cross the road? He didn't. He was stoned

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Hey I'm a poet and I didn't even realize that I was a poet

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? Neither has he.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops