Q: whats the difference between 3 asain people 3 black people and 3 mexican prople?? A: there all different nationality

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2 persons in an elevator then, one guy says: dude! smells like your sister! and the other guy is not there

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what hurts more than getting shot in the arm Getting shot in both arms!

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Why is a cookie like a jellyfish? Because it has no bones. (Contributed by my 4-year old boy)

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot, you racist.

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on a scale from voldemort to nigel thornberry, how big is your penis?

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A wise man once told me that friends are like cookies. He was a cannibal.

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Doctor, doctor, I just swallowed a roll of film! That was an incredibly foolish and dangerous thing for you to do. I would be surprised if you survived another day before the chemicals corrode your stomach lining and release hydrofluoric acid throughout your body causing sepsis.

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Hey Lady Gaga, Madonna called, she wants her clothes back; she lend them to you weeks ago for a concert because you didn't have anything to wear and you haven't returned them yet.

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Whats the worst thing a 13 year old could do? Have a Bar Mitzvah in Holocaust Germany.

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Knock knock! Who's there? Alexis. Hi, come in!

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Why do elephant tusks stick out? For uprooting trees and bushes, and for defending their young.

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why are you going to laugh at this its reallly dumb

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting raped.

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Why did Sally fall off the swings? She had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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Why did Batman brush his teeth? So he wouldn't get bat breath

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What sucks more than being married? Being shot in both kneecaps

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I put children on a leash and store them under my bed. I feed them bird food and they drink eachothers urine.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding out your boyfriend's gay

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I'm typing this one handed... ... Because I'm an amputee.

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A woman who lived alone with her parrot left her apartment to run to the store, forgetting that a plumber was scheduled to come and fix her sink. A few minutes later, the plumber arrived and knocked on the door. The parrot inside called out, "WHO IS IT?" The plumber replied, "it's the plumber. I've come to fix the sink." The plumber waited for a bit and, seeing that nobody was coming to the door, knocked again. The parrot called out, "WHO IS IT?" The plumber replied, a little more loudly, "it's the plumber! I've come to fix the sink!" Again the plumber waited. After a few more minutes, he knocked again. The parrot called out, "WHO IS IT?" The plumber yelled, as loudly as he could, "IT'S THE PLUMBER! I'VE COME TO FIX THE SINK!" Still, nobody came to the door. The plumber banged the door repeatedly, The parrot called out, "WHO IS IT?" The plumber screamed "IT'S...THE...PLUMBER!!! I'VE...COME...TO...FIX...THE...SIIIIIIINK!!!" and then, consumed with rage, clutched his chest and fell over dead from a stress-induced heart attack. A few minutes later, the woman returned home and, while opening her door, noticed the plumber lying dead in her hallway. She looked at her parrot and asked, "Who is it?" The parrot called out, "WHO IS IT?"

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A man walks into a bar. He leaves a large rucksack by the pool table and walks out. The rucksack then explodes and kills 13 people because it is the height of the Troubles and the man is a member of the IRA, who targetted the bar because it is regularly visited by British servicemen. The media extensively cover the story, and the two sides of the conflict in Northern Ireland decide that the bloodshed must stop, which eventually made way to the Good Friday agreement of 1998.

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Not really a anti joke: Superman is flying over town when he suddenly spots a completely naked Spiderwoman moaning and all sweaty while rubbing her her legs, This gets Superman really h0rny but does not want to get caught, so he flies down and bangs away so fast nobody notices a thing a thing and leaves. Spiderwoman: Hey honey whats wrong? Please come lie on top of me again! Invisible Man: AAAAAAARGH!!! IT FEELS LIKE I HAVE A DAMN BOWLING BALL UP MY ASS HOLE!!!

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So a duck walks into a pharmacy and says "i need some ointment for my beak, its rather chapped." and the Pharmacist said "Sorry we don't have anything for ducks here."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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