how do goldfishes drown? you pull them backward water fills there lung and there die

How does a penguin make pancakes out of skis? Purple because it's the best.

jess always squints her eyes when making a point

Three kids are playing on the swings. One of the kids falls off. He then gets up, gets back on the swing and continues playing.

Why don't nuns wear bras? Because god supports everything!

What goes up and down, up and down, up and down, forever? An insult to Newtonian physics.

A thief stole a calendar. Later, feeling guilty, he returned it to its owner, admitted his misconduct, and went to a local minimart to purchase his own.

why do jewish people have big noses? because air is free

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because earlier that day, the chicken was taking a shiit, and when he went to wipe, there was no toilet tissue, so he ran upstairs to his parents room, and shot them both with a shotgun, then he ate them while they were still gasping for air, then the neighbors heard the gunshots so they came over to make sure everything was alright, but little did they know that the chicken planned for it and they were electricuted to a crisp by the fence, oh yeah, why did the chicken cross the road? Because the store for chips was across the street

Why do dyslexic people stink at typing? c k j a h s d i u p q h g n z v m n k b e r t y o f This is why...

A duck walked into a bar and said "ouch."

What has a skinny head and specky? Josh Moran.

how does your hair keep changing lengths? due to my countless hours of grueling sessions in chemotherapy due to what was recently found as a terminal cancer, i wear wigs

Why did the black man break up with his white girlfriend? Because he didn't love her anymore.

who should be competing in the paralympics? Brent the retard!

When life gives you lemons......you should be really scared because life shouldnt be giving you anything....espically lemons so if life offers you lemons you better run

My dog has no nose, how does it smell? Using its anus.

Why did the Jewish cross the road? He didn't he died in Holocaust.

"Imagine a World Without Free Knowledge" -I'm not imagining, thanks Wikipedia!

Well I do want it to end now but...WHAT? How did you get that trough? I thought hypnosis was supposed to increase awareness and focus.

Ok so there were 2 white dudes telling black jokes...so one of the white dudes tells a joke to the other... 1st dude: what's brown and tall? 2nd dude: a tree 1st dude: no that scary black man who looks like he wants to beat us up.

A lil girl walks in to a bar........................ all a sudden a giant purple bunny jump up into her butt... now every time she poops its an easter egg hunt. LBall

why did the dog went inside the church? because the door was open.

What did the pineapple say to the orange? Nothing; Neither a pineapple nor an orange contains the necessary muscles to produce speech.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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