What do you call a cow without legs? Disabled.

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a father listens to his son while he was on the computer. he heard "BABBY BABBY OHHHHH" and busted in He was releaved to find him masterbating to porn because he thought it was Justin Beiber

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Q: Why did Katie fall off the swing? A: She had no arms. Knock, Knock Who's There? Not Katie.

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I hate when people see me at the store and are like "What are you doing here??" and Im just like, "Oh, you know, hunting elephants..."

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? He wasn't.

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Why was the girl sad? Because she was, you idiot!

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Roses are red, violets are blue I've got Alzheimer's cheese on toast

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Why did Isaac run from his mother? She tried to kill him because God said so. Christianity.

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why did the little girl eat grapes? because she felt like it.

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It was Jimmy's 18th bday so his parents let him have the house to himself. He ate shrooms, fucked his turtle, then had his dick bitten off.

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Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

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Three men stumble upon an ancient lamp in the desert. They sell it to a museum and split the profits evenly.

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u know whats a crime? rape

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Q: What did Batman say to Robin before they got into the car? A: Get in the car.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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What's the only thing better than winning a gold medal in the special olympics? Not being retarded.

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Q: How many cancer patients does it take to change a lightbulb? A: None, they are too weak to climb the ladder.

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What's big fat and hairy? Peter

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why was the Jewish person accused of stealing money? because the police found his finger prints.

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Whats circular and black? a black circle.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it felt like it.

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Knock Knock The occupant uses their peephole and realizes it is a familiar face then proceeds to let them in.

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Roses are red Violets are blue What about pansies

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What is green and drives around in the desert and is not a tank? secretly a tank

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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