An old bear-wrestler dies and finds himself at the pearly gates. Confused and at a loss for words due to the unfamiliar circumstance and lack of public toilets, he blurts out "Saint Peter, I presume?" but it was just the train conductor. "Ticket please." He searched his pockets and finally found the ticket. He wished he had a dog, but not a seeing-eye dog because people would assume he was blind. This story illustrates the importance of situational awareness, remembering which pocket you put your ticket in, and not forgetting to go before you leave because you don't know when you'll be able to find a restroom.

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What did the female lady person say to the baby? Get Some.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it had escaped from the farmer's field. The family were not too disheartened, as the rest were still contained.

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How did the blonde die drinking milk? She was severely lactose intolerant.

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What did the cat say to the bird? Nothing. It's a cat.

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Why was the boy mentally retarded? Because his mother was a tree

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what did the monitor say to the boy? Im a Monitor

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How did little Tommy die? i pushed him into the deep end of the pool

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How do you make money? Kill babies and sell them.

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What happens when you tickle a rabid iguana? It bites you and you die.

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Q:Whats 2+2? A: 4

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What did the towel say to the other towel? Nothing, there was no topic of conversation.

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Why was Samuel L. Jackson so tired of those motherf***ing snakes on that motherf***ing plane? Because if snakes are loose on a plane, they might bite you.

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What did the robot say to the child? Nothing, the robot malfunctioned and strangled the child.

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Roses are blue Violets are red What happened to the gay man? He listened to Justin Beiber And then was straight

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What did the red bag have written on it? Yellow bag

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Person1: wanna hear a joke? Person2: yeah Person1: ok

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what happened to the man that no one cares about? No one cares

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Why did Mexico enter the war? Because they were bombed.

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y does byonce sing to the left? because black people have no rights

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Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

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Q: Why did the Asian fail his driving test? A: Lack of concentration on the road and low knowledge of functioning a car.

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What did the piano say to the guitar? "G, it's not A nice day. B careful, Dee." What did the guitar say to the piano? "F you!" What did the piano reply? "Eek! C you later!"

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Why didn't Cheryl's mother recognize her when she was wearing a blue shirt and jeans? Because Cheryl's mother has Alzheimer's.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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