How many babies does it take to shingle a roof? depends on how thin you can slice them.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

what food wouldn't you take on holiday with you? any its all inclusive

thumb_up thumb_down -16

whats fun about the governement's jokes? nothing, they are actually serious

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Q: Did you hear that Hollywood actress got stabbed last night? A: Really? Which one? Q: Reese.. um wither.. withersomething A: Witherspoon? Q: Yes. Her. She's in a critical condition.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why couldn't the blonde have children? She had pelvic inflammatory disease.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why couldn't the 11-year old get into the pirate movie? It was rated PG-13.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

what long green and bumpy? a pickle

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What do you call cheese that's not yours? Not yours.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why do Christians believe in God? Because they're stupid

thumb_up thumb_down -16

If your fighting an octopus on mars how many lamps does it take to repair a dog house? Nine because a toaster cannot ride a bicycle.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

A black man walks into a convienent store, pays for his stuff and leaves

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What do you call it when a black guy is talking to a white guy? A conversation.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

A man walks into a bar. Sup.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What did the homeless man get for Christmas? He got many things, because everyone felt bad for him. Someone even brought him into their house so he could have Christmas dinner. On Christmas Day someone gave him fifty dollars to spend on food for his family. Only thing is, he didn't have a family.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

In mediavel times :A Jew rapes his mom.... He is promptly taken out of society and thrown into a lions den due to his act of imortality.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why was six afraid of seven? It wasn't. A number is a mathematical object used to count and measure.It is not a living thing and therefore does not possess thoughts and feelings.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

How do prevent a black man from robbing your house? Lock you doors and perhaps get an up-to-date security system.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Q: What is every blonde's ambition? A: To be like Vanna White and learn the alphabet.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why did the chicken cross the road? Chicken is a funny word, and the road is a plot device.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

There was a scientist that was doing a social experiment with mothers and their children. The name of first kid was named candy because it was her mothers favourite thing. The second kid name was rose because it was her mothers Favourite thing. The last mother knew what was happening and said to her son "Come on Dick".

thumb_up thumb_down -16

How do you make Adolf Hitler angry? You can't, dead people are not sentient, and hence cannot feel anger.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Bill: My vagina is itchy. Tom: You don't have a vagina. It was later found out that bill had a sex change and did have an itchy vagina, due to an STI. He later died of cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why did the chicken cross the road??? Suicide.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops