Top 10 Signs You Might Be Lonely and in Need of a Friend 10. Your closest friend has a skull tattooed on his knuckles and goes by the nickname bruiser. 9. You are becoming a little too fond of chess and pocket protectors. 8. You parents complain that your friends are a "Pack of wild chickens"-and it's not a figure of speech. 7. You follow your mailman around in hopes of a good conversation. 6. A cop pulls you over for speeding, and you add him to your Chistmas card list. 5. Your equation for a snappy party = TV remote + bean dip. 4. You forward e-mail jokes to yourself regularly. 3. You six best friends are Monica, Chandler, Phoebe, Joey, Ross, and Rachel. 2. You've named all of your roaches. 1. Phone solicitors hang up on you!

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What starts with an N, ends with R, and you arent supposed to say? Never

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God made Coke God made Pepsi God made me, Oh so sexy

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Why did the chicken cross the road ? To achieve his goal on the other side of the road. Being a chicken he is not aware of the arm a fast traveling motor vehicle can bring to him.

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A man goes to the doctor and says, "Doc, I don't know what to do! One day I'm a wig wam, the other day I'm a teepee, then I'm a wigwam, then I'm a teepee again!" The doctor sighs and replies,"Sir, we've been over this. You have stage four periodic cancer."

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Have you seen Helen Keller's house? Well, It's an old style ranch home in a respectable neighborhood.

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What did the racist black man say to the white man? Nothing they both died in a car accident.

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How much wood could a Woodchuck chuck if a Woodchuck could chuck wood? The etymology of the name woodchuck is unrelated to wood or chucking

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 6 encountered 7 in the Vietnam War where he killed 6's brothers, leaving him scarred. 6 has countless nightmares due to the numerous visions that reminisce that situation in great deal. Also, 7 had a big hook on his hand, which was very scary.

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knock! knock! who's there? the police, your family died in a car crash!

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When I die, I want to die like my grandfather who died peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in his car.

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Why the girl have a crooked leg? Her grandma thought that she was a pretzel and while the girl was sleeping the grandma tried to bend the girls leg into a pretzel shape

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Alzheimer's, Roses are red.

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1 white girl and 2 black men -TRAGIC

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A nuclear reactor explodes and all the waste are going straight out in the ocean. I just bought a new xbox.

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What's black on top and white on the bottom? Half an oreo

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Your momma is so fat because she ate alot!

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms

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Chris is hairy

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Is your refrigerator running? I hope so, or else the food will go bad!

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Guy 1: When your Justin Beiber af. Guy 2: What Guy 1: Do you mean

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Q: What does a baby look like in a microwave? A: I don't know, I don't masturbate with my eyes open.

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Whats worse than 20 dead babies in a garbage can? A: The smell

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knock knock - whos there whos there -"im confused" try it on someone

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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