Knock Knock Who's there? Just open the damn door.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have ADD Hey look, a squirrel!!

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Why did the black man cross the road? Because he lived an worked on opposite sides of the road, and so consequently needed to cross the road to work, and provide an income for his family, so they could have fresh food, clean water, and have money to pay the bills such as the mortgage so they didnt become poor and homeless, which would inevitably lead to illness and an early death for them all.

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Did you hear about the peanut that was assaulted? He filed a police report weeks ago and is upset by the sluggish nature of the justice system.

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Hey I just met you, and this is crazy, but here's a free drink, you'll wake up in my basement.

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What's brown and smells of chocolate? Chocolate or something dipped in chocolate but that might also smell of something else - like bananas.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a red head walk into a bar. You think they should have ducked?

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How can humans fly? Well if you run and jump of a cliff...nevermind you would just smash your face on the ground. I guess that isn't technically flying.

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What do you call it when a dead man has his wallet stolen? Rob Zombie.

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Your tell your girlfriend to make you a sandwich, she actually makes one for you.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was curious about something that had diverted his attention.

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Im not random you just can't think as fa-bunnies

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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What's worse than one cat stuck in a tree? Getting raped

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What long black and tasty? Licorice

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what did the kid with no legs gat for her birthday? A soccer ball! I feel bad for this young girl.

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what did michael jackson do when i swore at him? nothing he's dead

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identical jokes get different votes.

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What's big, purple, and smells like children? Barney

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Q: What did the cop do when he saw a mexican in his car? A: Nothing, he was looking in a mirror.

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Why was the clock off? Because it was broken

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Why didn't Josh go to school? On his way to school, a majestic flying homeless man hit him in the head with a sea cucumber.

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How do you get a baby to stop crying? Run it over with a lawn mower!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops