Q: What's the hardest part about eating a vegetable? A: The wheel chair.

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How do you drown a blonde? Put a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom of the pool then don't let her come up for air.

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What did the black guy say after coming home from school? "I just got home from school."

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Why did the princess kiss the frog? She really wanted a wart.

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Yo mamma's so fat that the gravity required to keep her on the ground is significantly smaller than an average sized human.

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What did Batman tell Robin before he got into the Batmobile? "Hey Robin, get in the Batmobile."

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Why did Elsa go into hiding. She died

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What do you say to the man break dancing?? You don't, call an ambulance he is having an epileptic fit.

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Why did the toilet paper roll? Because it isn't rock!

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where did my tractor go.

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A horse walks into a bar. The barman says 'who the f*ck let a horse in here, get it out now'.

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How do you make a baby stop crying for the rest of its life? Shoot it in the face.

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What's worse than ants in your pants? Uncles.

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knock knock who's there? banana well that's an odd name. banana then began to break down in tears because his parents were constant drug abusers and gave him that name while they were high

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What's worse than having embaracing parents? A: they are of the same sex

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Q: Whats 5+5 A:10

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. He was butchered on the farm for chicken fingers.

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Your mom is so fat because she eats too much and is most likely incapable of controlling when to stop.

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Don't quote me on this Nero, but she kinda deserves it, she should know better, its not like you have gotten this far by not knowing your limits, even if you tend to break them way too often. Can you get rid of the hallucinations with your mind alone? If not get to sleep asap! And stay asleep for a month or so, and if they somehow cant feed your system intravenously, they can all get the fuck out of there.

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whats small and sexually confused? YOu

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Q: What's worse than ten babies stapled to one tree? A: One baby stapled to ten trees.

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Why did the car fall of the cliff? The dude driving the car was driving recklessly.

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A kid asks his mom: "Mom, what would I be when I grow up?" And so his mother answers: "You won't grow up, you have cancer"

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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