Roses are Green Violets are Black Everything's different since I took crack

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A man shaves at least 3 times a week, yet he has the longest beard in town, how is that possible? He shaves his head because he's embarrassed about his rampant and patchy balding.

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Why did the christian go into the church? To pray.

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Knock Knock, Who's there? Alzheimer's Alzheimer's who? Knock Knock...

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What's worse than terminal cancer? Two terminal cancer?

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What's white and is your slave? Your computer.

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Q: whats worse than 10 dead babies in 1 trashcan? A: 1 dead baby in 10 trashcans

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Parents who drive with children on their lap should be wrapped with a huge diapper

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Why did Jonathan choose to watch something else other than Geordie Shore? Jonathan is intellectual.

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Why did Kelsey run out of eggs? Horses don't have much sperm.

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Why did Rachel fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Rachel.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was simply wandering around and happened to walk from one side of the road to the other.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

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Q: what do you call the green and the (stone eater) animal? A:the green and the (stone eater) animal

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whats worse than a baby in a dumpster? A baby in ten dumpsters.

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What happens when a gay guy and a hillbilly enter at the same bar togather? a police dog nation gards and a priest had to stop the abomination.

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If an ugly person got raped. What would that be called? Nothing. It is never gonna happen. Kelvin Yang.

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q; whats small and high pitched a; rory johnston

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Roses are red, Violets aren't. This doesn't make sense. Potatoes and brown.

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Your momma is so dumb she'd starve if she were trapped in a fully stocked grocery store. -Actually my mom has a pHD in Nutritional Science. If she were trapped in a fully stocked grocery store, she'd utilize that knowledge to maintain a balanced diet until a way was made available for her to return home.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She has no arms. Knock Knock Who's there Not Sally Why can't Sally finish her ice cream She has no arms How do you fit Sally into a box? Put her in a blender. How do you get her out? A straw.

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Why was the cancer patient often bullied by his peers? Because he happened to be an extremely bad person. He often annoyed people, was intransigent and often aggravated those around him causing them to bully him.

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What is rainbow-colored, makes no sounds, and smells like a banana? A rainbow-colored banana

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What do you get if you cross a river with a cat? Wet.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops