Roses are red Bob is dead My name is Dave Your a microwave

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What is the worst part about eating a vegetable? Eating the wheelchair too.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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A guy dared his friend to jump off a bridge for 10 bucks. His friend, fearing for his life did not jump.

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What's got two legs and bleeds a lot? Half a dog.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 was a serial-rapist with links to the Black Dragon triad. Yee.

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The camp counselor woke me up, and said that it was going to be a long week. I didn't worry though, since all weeks are 7 days long.

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What did the man say before he killed himself? I am going to kill myself

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What did the deaf, dumb, blind kid with two stump arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer

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whats worse than getting ran over by a car seeing you mum having ***

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A black man accidentally walks into a white man. They apologize to each other and carry on with the rest of their day.

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I don't really like holocaust jokes because my grandpa was in it. Yeah he was drunk and fell off his guard tower.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? She didn't have any arms.

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how many pancakes does it take to shingle a dog house? 16 if the ice cream melts

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THER ONCE WAS A jueny WITH A TEN FOOT WENNY AND HE WENT TO SHOW IT TO THE LADY NEXT DOOR SHE THOUGHT IT WAS A SNKE SO SHE HIT IT WITH A RAKE AND NOW ITS ONLY FIVE FOOT FOUR!

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boner

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Why did the girl drop her ice cream? Because seeing as a bus was heading straight toward her, she quickly decided to sacrifice her frozen treat and dodge the oncoming vehicle in order to save her life.

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Q. What's cold and has no feelings? A. A pole

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What's worse than getting raped by a duck? Getting raped by two ducks.

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Bird is the Word. Actually 'What" is the word.

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What happened to the dog that ate to much? It became obese.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, most chickens are held on farms, but those that do roam free are afraid of automobiles so therefore they wouldn't go near a road at all. But if the chicken was located in a deserted town there would be no traffic, so then it would be able to cross freely over any road there and not get injured or mortally wounded.

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What did the apple say to the other apple? Nothing, apples are fruits and cannot talk

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Wife: Where were you all night. Husband: Cheating on you with your sister

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops