Q. Why did the boy fall off the swing? A. He had no arms or legs. Q. What did he get for Christmas? A. A drumset Q. Knock Knock Who's there Not him

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A doctor walks out of the delivery room, he then relieves a nervous father, telling him that his new baby girl has just been born with great health. The father sighs in relief as happiness overwhelms him. With such great news, the doctor chuckles and continues on with more information. Your wife died during the delivery.

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What's worse than a pile of dead babies A live one eating its way out!

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How do you stop the London riots? - You employ a a highly effective police tactic to diffuse the crisis as quickly as possible.

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Why didn't Tyron run from the police? He had no legs.

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Q: What did the forgetful person say to the other? A:

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I had a lemon. hi.

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pudding

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Two scientists are experimenting with sulfuric acid. One scientist says to the other, "Did you see the new intern?" In the process of turning to face the first scientist, the second scientist knocks the beaker over and spills sulfuric acid all over the first scientist's hand. The first scientist writhes in pain as the second scientist rushes to find a strong base to neutralize the burn. After a few minutes, the first scientist is rushed off to the emergency room and suffers from some serious chemical burns.

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What do you call an earthquake on Mars? There is not enough water on planet Mars for something like that to happen.

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why did jimmy fall of of the tractor? Because he is a potato

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Why did Billy drop his ice cream? The Holocaust.

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Why couldn't Cait walk her dog? She's been paralyzed from the waist down since she was 5 after her and her parents got into a car accident and her parents died.

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LPFTeHEsAS4 You will not be disappointed.

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Whats the difference between a baby and a trampoline? I take off my shoes to step on trampolines.

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What's worse than the holicost? The ninja turtles

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Why couldn't the old man see? He was deaf

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What is green and smells like paint? Grass, it doesnt smell like paint, I lied.

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There's an Irishman, a homo-sexual, and a Jew standing at a bar. What a fine example of an integrated community!

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What is ET short for? Extra terrestrial

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What's nappy,brown,intoxicated,and stealing my bike? A Blazed, black guy that stole my bike.

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What did one muffin in an oven say to another muffin? Nothing, muffins are inanimate objects thus incapable of sppech.

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What is a ghost's favorite appetizer? Ghosts aren't real.

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What did the senator do after he typed he email? He clicked the send button.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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