Why is Osama dead? He got shot.

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A man walked into a doctors and said, “Doctor help! My arms have stopped working” to which the receptionist replied, “I’m not the doctor and you need to make an appointment.”

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Think of the worst thing you know of and add dead babies

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What do you call a Pakistani flying a plane. 9/11

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Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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What do you call a griraffe and a duck who's favorite colors are both purple? A coincidence in which two unrelated species have the same preference in colorant hues.

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Roses are black. Violets are black. Black people are black, And you're a douche.

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why did the boat sink the captain drove it into a pile of sharp rocks

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What used to be red, but isn't anymore? A scalped ginger.

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Why do elephant tusks stick out? For uprooting trees and bushes, and for defending their young.

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Q:Where did sally go when the bomb went off? A: Everywhere.

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How many members of Coldplay can you fit in a mini? 4, as there are 4 members of Coldplay.

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I like my coffee like my women. Without a penis.

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How many teachers would it take to find their way out of a maze? Depends on their area of speciality. If the teacher(s) are mathematicians or logicians, probably one or two at most. If they are home economics teachers, possibly more.

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Did you hear about that man who ate 17 cheeseburgers?! I didn't.

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I went out back to bury my hoe.. with a hoe..

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A drunk man into a bar. He is ripping apart a family

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A white guy, a black guy, an Asian guy, and a hispanic guy are standing before a cliff. They proceeded to take lovely pictures.

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Yo momma was so ugly that everybody died.

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why did the black boy start crying when he was taking a dump? He thought he was melting

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Jesse gives his mom the stick for breakfast

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Your mother is so fat that when she jumps into a pool, she displaces a proportionately larger amount of water than people with normal body mass indexes or BMI

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whats worse than getting eaten by a bear a bear getting eaten by a squirrel who ate you too.

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What do you get when you eat all the potatoes? They're all gone...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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