what would happen if you took all the veins out of your body and laid them out tip to tip? you die

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Why did silly Miss Sally put her baby in the dishwasher? Because she was suffering from advanced stages of Schizophrenia. She thought that her baby was a dish. Her mother, Carol watched in horror as her granddaughter was placed inside. A tear dribbled from her eye. Things had been bad, but because Sally was her daughter, she had been tolerant. Carol sobbed as the baby screamed in terror, unable to escape. Finally, Carol, tears in her eyes, called Child Protective Services on her own daughter, something she didn't want to do. When CPS representatives finally came, they were horrified at the sight of a screaming baby covered in suds with burnt skin that had been scorched by hot jets. Sally's baby, Alex was taken from her and put into foster care.

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Knock knock! Who's there? Wristwatch! Wristwatch who? Orange ya glad I didn't say banana

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A snail buys a car from a dealership, and then asks the manager if he could paint a large S on the side of the car. The manager agrees, and the snail drives away. From the parking lot, the manager sees the car go straight on to the highway and get hit by a truck. Unfortunately, snails cannot drive.

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What did the mental patient say to the apple? She didn't say anything because she was a catatonic schizophrenic.

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The awkward moment when something of quite awkwardness occurs.

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BBW BABY IS THE BEST BETTER THAN THE REST WELL EXCEPT MILF BABY. SUBSCRIBE TO BigHDGuns

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This planking craze is really taking over... my elderly nextdoor neighbour has been planking in her garden for three days straight!

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What is 1 + 1 equal to? 2, because if you have one orange and if you add another orange, you will have 2 oranges, therefore 1 plus 1 is 2.

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Why did timmy fall off his bike? Someone threw a fridge at hm

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a tomato.

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Why did the little boy cry? He fell down the stairs

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a man walk into a bakery, he sais... may i have a loaf of bread....

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What's funnier than a dead baby? A joke.

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What's white and can't jump? A fridge.

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Which way do 5 gay guys walk? Depends on where they're planning to go.

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Why cant white guys jump? Well that would be wrong because some can. Have you seen Blake Griffen?

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Why was Jimmy upset? Someone kept pouring liquid nitrogen on him.

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Roses are brown Violets are brown There is crap in my garden

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What's worse than a bag of dead babies? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Jews.

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YOU

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So, a Bobcat walks into a bar. A few moments later, the bar was empty, save a bobcat and two critically wounded men.

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why did the black guy where orange shoes? Because he likes orange.

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Why was the cat in the bag? Because it's owner was abusive and put it in there.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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