What did the doctor say to the man on the nice day? You have cancer. How nice the day was is irrelevant

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How many dead babies can you fit in a telephone booth? Mmm, strange question for my HSC maths exam...

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how hungry am i? well im as hungry a starving kid in africa!!!!

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Q: What did one muffin say to another? A: Nothing. Muffins don't talk, you idiot.

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What did the construction worker bring with him to work? - Tools

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What's straight and famous. Ryan Secrest I was just kidding about the stright

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Before you insult a man, walk a mile in his shoes. That way, when you insult him, you'll be a mile away, and have his shoes.

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Whats worse than seeing a child with autism? Seeing a child doin' serious damage in a mosh pit

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Why did the chicken cross the playground? Because he was looking for other chickens because he has no friends and he got bullied when he was in 12th grade. He got picked on because he was sledding down his hill in his backyard and he accidentally scraped one side of his face on ice and started bleeding. The next day his classmates started calling him two face.

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A homeless guy walked up to me and said "Any change?", to which I replied, "Nope, your still homeless". We laughed and laughed. The he stabbed me.

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how do you make Will Smith cry? cut off his toes and fingers.

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Why did the dinosaurs die out? This is a long and debated subject, and as no one was alive back then and no solid evidence has been found to support any theories we can only wait.

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A horse goes to the mall and when he is in the checkout line there is a man at the cash register the man at the cash register says "Why the long face?" and the horse replies "hey buddy, watch it!!!!!!!"

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Q. why did the girl fall off the swing? A. Because she had no arms.

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Why did the platypus have no friends? Platipi are antisocial creatures by nature.

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What did the anorexic order for dinner? Nothing

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The loss of originality in anti joke formats. And hypocrisy.

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Q. What did the mom say to the boy scout? A. He wouldn't be a happy camper.

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What is worse than when the Titanic sunk? You Cannot say. You were on that ship.

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Caolan and Eamon

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's blind and deaf, any situation with her in the drivers seat of a car would have serious implications.

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Roses are red, and many other colors too.

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Knock Knock Who’s there? Tom Tom who? Tom Pearson? Oh Tom, I wasn’t expecting you til 3pm, please come in.

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Why was the boy crying? Because he had a frog stapled to his face

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops