Whats the difference between a rake and a sack of dead babys? i dont have a rake in my garage.

In the North people say "once upon a time." What do people in the South say? "Y'all never gonna believe dis shit!"

If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

Girl 1- why was 6 afraid of 7? dog- ..................................(doesn't say anything because dogs can't ruff)

How do you wake up lady gaga? First you simply whisper in her ear telling her to wake up. If she doesn't, simultaneously whisper and tap her gently. If you have failed to achieve your accomplished goal, repeat step two however intensely touch her and project your voice when telling her to wake up. Step three, get a... WAIT WAIT!! I just waisted 20 seconds of your life, you're never going to meet her.

What do you call Chuck Norris being killed? This is impossible so we are not give it a name.

What is the similarity between an elephant and a grape? Absolutely nothing. One is an animal, while the other is a fruit.

what's funnier than a dead baby? a lot of less tragic things

A baby tastes grapefruit juice for the first time. She is allergic and immediately begins convulsing and dies.

Whats the difference between a man and a cat. There both different species.

Why did the chicken go to KFC? Because it was suicidal.

What's the difference between a duck? They are mostly the same, only one leg is shorter.

Bob: This joke is so hilarious but you must start off by saying knock knock. Tom: okay... Knock knock Bob: who's there? Tom: ...... Bob: well? Tom: I don't know what to say??? Bob: so the joke left ya speechless!

Your momma is so fat, her doctor recommended exercising more and eating healthier.

Cyrus: Can you dig it?! Phil: I can feel it calling in the air tonite……..oh lord

Q:Why did the kid drop his ice cream A:He was hit by a car

What's so funny about Mexicans? Nothing. They're all humans too.

What's the difference between Jews and pizza? One is an adherent to the religion of Judaism, and the other is a doughy bread topped with tomato sauce and cheese. They share virtually no similarities.

What did the little boy get for Christmas? Nothing, he's Jewish

A guy with a severe attention deficit walks into a bar and... oh, look, the sky is pretty... wait, what was I saying ?

knock knock whos there? steve oh hi steve please come in

What happens when a Jewish man with a boner walks into a wall. He gets a broken nose.

Why couldn't Horton hear a who? He was a loaf of bread.

What did the players of the all black NBA team say to the white rookie? "Congratulations for making it to the NBA! Your hard work and dedication has certainly paid off."

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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