What is the last thing to go through a flies head before it hits a windshield. Nothing because flies aren't capable if rational thought.

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An Englishman, a Welshman, an Irishman and a Scotsman are all stranded on a desert island. After several days spent utilizing the survival skills they had been taught in the Royal Navy, they were eventually evacuated by fellow sailors searching for them. As the only survivors, their stories were vital in preventing such shipwrecks in future.

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Roses are nice, violets are fine, ill be the 6, if you be the 9!

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Chuck Norris.

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What is the difference between a pizza and a Jew?

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What did the boy say after he got hit by a bus? Nothing. He's dead.

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You're in the middle of the ocean and you see a roller coaster. What color is the penny? Tree.

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What do you call cheese that's not yours? Stolen cheese

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Granny porn!

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yo mamas so ugly.... everyone died. the end.

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Q: Why didn't Little Jhonny go to school today? A: There was no school today.

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Look down at your keyboard. Notice that U and I are together? <3 Also notice that J and K are together too!:P

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1. The name of your street 2. The name of your pet 3. Your favorite activity 4. The color of your eyes 5. The number of shoes you own Now fill in the blank with the corresponding number to your answers. "One day I was ___3___ my dog when a pornstar named __(1)__ ___(2)___ asked me how many times I can ___(3)____ myself. I said ___(5)___ times and the juice that came out of me was __(4)___."

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Q. What happened to the girl who locked her keys in her car? A. I raped her.

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Q; Whats the hardest part about nailing a dead baby to a wall? A; my dick while doing it.

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Roses are red,violets are blue,hit me once I will break you to Roses are red,violets are blue,I will kick your ass, as hard as to

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Chuck Norris tried to return some jeans to Target and when they didn't give him his money he kickeed them in the face.

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A handless Asian boy was riding his bike through the park with some friends. One of his friends puts his arms in the air and yells "Look! No hands!" The handless boy rides his bike home, crying and thinking about how one day he would like to say, "Look! No hands!" without people getting nauseous.

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What were the murderer's last words before he was put to death by electric chair? "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH UHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH NNNNNFHGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.................................................................................................................." He then defecated in his pants.

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3 men of different races walk into a bar. The bartender then proceeds to ask, "what would you 3 men like?"

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Stolen property that you should return immediately because the consequences of shop-lifting can prevent you from getting a good job and might land you in prison.

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A black man walks into a bank with a gun. He then clocks in and takes duty because he is a security guard at the bank.

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What did the golfer do when he hit a shot with a lot of pressure on him into the water? He dropped another ball and continued on, for golf is a civilized game and bad manners are prohibited.

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hi im tom. whats your name? joe. hi im tom. whats your name? joe... tom has short term memory loss.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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