I don't always drink beer but when I do, I viciously beat my wife and children.

A devout Christian dies. Peter winks as his soul passes through the impenetrable Gates of Heaven. Everyone is gay and– like, gay as in happy– Fags aren't allowed in Heaven.

Niall Horan

What do you call a Knight who farts a lot? Sir Farts-a-lot

What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot. You racist.

why do elephants paint them selves green ..... to blend into snooker tables. have u ever seen an elephant on a snooker table .... thats just how good they are.

Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

Why did piglet look down the toilet for pooh? He had a horrible mental illness

Wanna hear a joke? Your life.

At the Asthma hotline. Caller: Aahhh aahhh *gasp* *gasp* I need you... Woman: *slams phone* DAMN I WISH THESE PERVERTS WOULD STOP CALLING!

ive been a naughty girl, and i need something to plug my hole. call or text me;) 1 (802) 299-5281

What does a cookie and the twin towers have in common? They both crumble.

Q: Why did Captain Kirk suck his own dick? A: Nobody else was around, I guess.

Whats big and red and eats rocks? A big red rockeater.

Did you hear the one about the avalanche that crashed into the bar? It was such a tragedy.

What gets wetter as it dries? Sarah Jessica Parker

What did little Ben's mom give him for Christmas? Nothing. She died last month

why do chairs recline Because they were built that way!!!!

Democracy.

WHY DID THE MAN FART HE WAS A FARTY PANTS AND WE CAN CHAT HERE ON THIS WEB GO TO ANTI JOKE SEE ME I WILL GIVE U JOKES

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead

Why did the chicken cross the road? It felt like it, no particular reason. Why did the hippo cross the road? Same reason as the chicken. Why did the Fred cross the road? He was with animal control, and a chicken and hippo had just been reported to cross this dangerous stretch of highway.

i am a slasher, a slasher of prices to get to the other side. poop goo goo gaga

What do you call a deer with no eye? NO IDEAR!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...