Q: How do you turn a purple panda into a red panda A: Feed it grey poop and because it tasted so bad it got so mad it turned red.

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When the mom got home from work, she was very tired. Her 6 year old son asked her nicely to make him a PB&J sandwich. She said sure and made one. Her son was very pleased and ate all of it. He knew he had a great mom. I actually lied above. The mom was killed by three men in hoodies in her back yard. They came inside and also murdered to boy. Worst of all the killers stole all of her food including the rasberries the boy was looking forward to eat. I guess it doesn't matter now since he is unable to eat anymore...

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Whats the same about a jew and firewood? They both burn.

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Yo momma is so fat that she is at a high risk for heart disease and diabetes!

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what do you call a dog with no legs. It dosent matter it wont come

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What did Helen Keller get for Christmas? Glasses

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A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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What do you call a bad joke website? anti joke

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Your mother is so white that when she dances, she is off beat a little bit.

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What do you call 5 white guys sitting on a bench? An effect of an overcrowded theme park

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Captain Falcon is eating a restaurant. After he sits down at his table, a waiter comes by to take his drink order. Not wanting to skew his blood alcohol level for his next race, he asks for a non-alcoholic drink. The waiter says, "We only have water and punch. Which would you like?" Captain Falcon replies, "Water, please."

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A: Did you know that cashews come from a fruit? B: Not really. This is an interesting fact. Any other facts you have? A: yes ("A" was lying)

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Why was six afraid of seven? Back when seven was in Vietnam, he sufferd Posttraumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) and constantly has flash backs and irrational thoughts of six being with the veitnamese alliance and tries to viciously molest six whenever he runs out of anxiety medication.

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Two drums and a cymbal fall off a cliff. They all broke beyond repair.

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Why does the girl continue to cry repetently everyday? Because she found out she was diagnosed with terminal cancer.

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Knock knock Who's there? You're You're who? YOU'RE MOM IN MY BED!!! (i know it sucks)

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What did the Mexican guy say to the black guy? What? Nothing, he don't speak English

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What's long and black? A long and black object.

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I remember the last words my grandpa said before he kicked the bucket. I bet I can kick this bucket. He missed and had a heart attack.

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What do u get when u lick chicken Answer- Your a retard if you did not figure it out it is obviously chicken taste DERP!

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homosexual rights to marriage

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whats worse than a baby impaled on your lawn... the universe being consumed by a giant albino ape with over sized testicles

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A. Why did the boy cross the road? B. Why? A. I don't know! That's why I'm asking you.

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Those who believe that Sarah Palin is dumb are living in some fantasyland. She could damn well speak as much as anyone else!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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