A grandfather clock fucked my bicycle!

thumb_up thumb_down -33

A man walks to his coathanger and shouts: "I AM GOING TO THE STORE!" his wife says not to because the Rapist 'Eggman' was out again. He says he will be careful. On his way to the store, he hears "They are the Eggmen, I am the Eggen-" but the man shouts "AND I'M THE WALRUS, SO SHUT UP AND GET OUTTA MY FACE OR I'LL KOO-KOO KOO-JOOB YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN!" Rapist and the singer became friends and found two more from Liverpool who were excellent musicians. They formed the band 'The Beatles'. The Eggman shot the Walrus in 1980 after the band's breakup.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Shut up max im not fucking demented u dickhead

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Q: What did the pedestrian say to the bus driver that hit him? A: Nothing, he died.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

What's up? Your time.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Q: Why did the white mother with a newborn baby lock her car doors? A: Because a black guy walked by.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Did you hear the one about the broken pencil? Never mind, it's pointless

thumb_up thumb_down -33

What did the Watermelon say to its baby? I'll SEED you later!

thumb_up thumb_down -33

two muffins are sitting in an oven one muffin turns and says "boy it`s hot in here" the other muffin can`t bring himself to explain to the other they are about to be eaten alive.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Why are some people so barbaric? Because some people are German.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

What happens when a man farts a fancy memorial party in a ball room in England... At least 1000 people die somewhere on earth in the time his butt squeezed out that fart. And I'm sure someone gets raped.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

A seal walks into a club. The man proceeds to skin it and sell the fur for profit.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Q: Whats the difference between a lamborghini and a pile of dead babies? A: I don't have a lamborghini in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side XD

thumb_up thumb_down -33

What do you get when you cross batman and superman? One egotesticul idiot SOB aka mofo ????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

thumb_up thumb_down -33

whats the difrence between santa clause and a jew santa goes down the chimney

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Why was the phone wearing glasses? It lost its contacts!

thumb_up thumb_down -33

What did the black man say to the white man? "Hi"

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Why is the black guy jobless? He's 3 years old.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

What did the boyfriend ask his girlfriend for on his birthday? Pokemon Yellow version.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Why do black people always sit in the back of the bus? There aren't any available seats in the front.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Racial Equality

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops