How many jews does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One. It really isn't that hard.

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Whats brown and sticky? A antelope.

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What do you call a really bad band? One with a poor guitar player, a bad bass player, sloppy drums, obnoxious vocals, and all of the songs sound the same. Or Nickelback.

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What do you call the branch of Science that separates the organism's race? RACISM

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So I want to write an Anti-Joke, so I go to the write your own tab and see in the security code box: Which one is a country- fried rice or fried chicken. C'mon, it's definitely fried rice.

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How many dead babies does it take to change a lightbulb? None they're dead.

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What do you get when you cross a Chinese man with a dog? A happy Chinese man and a pile of dog bones.

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why couldnt hellen keller drive a car? because she was a woman

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"Why can't you hear pterodactyl when it goes to the bathroom?" "Because the pee is silent?" "No, because they are dead, you idiot."

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What do you call a black man running faster than a white man? Usain Bolt

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A black man and a white man enter a public toilet. They both begin to pee at the urinals. The whiteman peers over to the blackman mid-pee. He is dissappointed to find that the black man's penis is not large according to stereotype and then blushes embarassed by his own latent homosexuality. They both leave the toilet and never see eachother again. The white man cries himself to sleep later that night. 'I've been hiding too long' he thinks.

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Why did the man complain of pain in his ankle? Because several consecutive tissue samples of the area revealed a rapidly metastasizing neoplasm. Blood samples indicated the presence of what appeared to be Hodgkins Lymphoma. The man was very wealthy, however, and had world class doctors treat him and got better.

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A horse walks into a bar the barmam asks why the long face The horse replies he's suffering from depression after his family was killed in a car crash and he has now turned to alcohol to sort his sorrows

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Grease is the word that you heard it's got groove it's got meaning

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Why did the girl fall off the swings? She had no arms

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a chinese man pays the full price

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, This is a poem, Whoop-dee-do.

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Yo mama is so hairy! Then only language she speaks is Chinese

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Cyrus: Can you dig it?! Phil: I can feel it calling in the air tonite……..oh lord

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What makes boys so stupid? They like to play with girls' hearts and break them until they spew out blood all over the place.

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Why did the bird fall out of the sky? Someone shot it.

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Roses are blue Violets are unicorns This doesn't make sense Refrigerator

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Why was 2 afraid of three Because it bigger

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the street? A: Because that was the direction it was headed.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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