Your mum so ugly that she isn't married

Is the glass half full or half empty? The liquid in the glass is not at exact half, so that question is not answerable.

G:nock nock B:come in!

Why didn't the chicken cross the road? He didn't give in to peer pressure.

why did the jockey lose the horse race? he mistook his horse for Sara Jessica Parker

How do you make someone laugh? Tell them this joke.

What do all homosexuals have in common? Not much.

How do you get a one-armed Polak out of a tree? Get him a ladder and help him down.

Why did the chicken cross the road? This website is terrible. Are you servers from 1990? I hope you all get cancer.

A Jew walks into a shower. Gased.

A: Knock Knock (pause) B: Please use the doorbell, it is very late and I like to be considerate of my neighbors

WHY ARE WOMEN SO HARD TO SLEEP WITH? Because the men are always hard while sleeping with them

Roses are red, violets are blue, i get tired of this shit let's have some grey goose

Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven is a registered sex offender

Q: How many babies does it take to paint a wall?? A: It depends on how hard you throw them!!

A man walked into a pole barn oh wait I meant a pole bar so it actually hurt.

What did the priest say to the young boy? Hi.

Why was Six afraid of Seven? Seven was in a horrible car accident recently and became very disfigured. He didn't tell Six, so the initial shock of seeing him for the first time was quite jarring for Six. Seven has had multiple surgeries since and, once the swelling recedes, he should look much better. It will still hurt for him to chew though.

Why couldn't the man get a job at the daycare? Because he was a serial killer/rapist.

What's the difference between a horse and a house? 1 letter.

hi penis ham telephone

-What's sad about four black guys driving off a cliff? -They were my friends.

What do you call a latino with a limp? John...his name is John

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put my cøck in your mouth. Submitted by Arsha K.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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