how do you confuse a blonde? tap her on both shoulders

The sword that kills, the sword that gives life.

Yo mama so stupid, she waited for the stop sign to say go

How do you fit an elephant inside your car?: Starve it to death, then chop it in pieces.

What did the German girl say to me? entschuldigen Sie (excuse me)

Your mom's so fat that when she stepped on the scale at the doctors office the doctor said " hey i wanted your weight not your phone number"

Jack and Jill went up the hill, to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down and broke his crown, and Jill came tumbling after. Up Jack got, and home did trot, as fast as he could caper, to old Dame Dob, who proceeded to get Jill convicted of attempted murder, as well as several millions of dollars for pain and suffering.

What happens when you put a baby in the microwave? I don't know, cause I was to busy jerking off.

What is black and hangs on a rope next to a rebel flag in my back yard? A tire swing for my redneck kids to swing on.

What's the difference between ?2 and and 74^3? ?-405242.585786

What is the fastest bird in air? NONE WHO NEEDS TO RIDE BIRDS WHEN YOU HAVE AIROPLANES!!!!

A man walks into a bar. It hurt.

2 doctors are talking to each other? -Dead? -Dead.

Did you hear about the kidnapping in New York? He woke up.

What is better than one wors roll - two wors rolls

don't repeat this joke!don't repeat this joke!don't repeat this joke!don't repeat this joke!don't repeat this joke!

Sarah Palin's political campaign

Why did the chicken cross the mobia strip? To get to the same side!

Why did little Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms knock knock who's there? Not little Suzie.

Knock Knock Who's there? Orange Oranges can't talk therefore this is not a accurate accusation.

69 cents for a rainbow donut shaped as a 69....

What do you call a Jew in the oven? The oven repair man

Why do women live longer? Because they work weaker.

What did the man say to the butterfly? To the butterfly? Nothing. He was probably talking to himself.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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