Q: What did the guy say to the apple? A: suck me off

What do you call a fat zombie? Dead

What happens if you punch a girl? An equal rights protest.

Why was the black kid at school? Because he wanted to receive an education.

NeroChan, I have said nothing to you, that you have not taught me, if nothing else you have indirectly inspired yourself, you will get back on your feet, you just need to take one step at the time, I know how ambitious you are, but you always focused on helping others, hiding, seeing yourself as a sinking ship, trying to help as many as possible before you pass away. We can work trough this together, it is easy to figure out that you are trying to protect others from what you feel that you have become, something that cannot be repaired, something that was never meant to be fixed, but to be used until it had no more to give.

What did the pedophile say to the delightfully curly-headed youth? Can I have fries with that?

A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen." The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her, "That driver just insulted me!" The man says, "You go right up there and tell him off! Go ahead, I'll hold your monkey for you."

How do you catch a predator? You throw a beartrap at a child.

Q: What's worse than ten babies stapled to one tree? A: One baby stapled to ten trees.

What's the difference between an ant and a dinosaur? They are both birds, apart from the ant and the dinosaur

What's black an white and red all over? Two dead babies, one African American and one Caucasian split in half by a chainsaw.

Why did the accountant die?A terrorist put a bomb under his desk.

Anti-Joke is a sticky wicket.

A woman is carried out of a bar.

What did the man say to the cat? Nothing. He doesn't have a cat.

A narwhall walks into a store and asks the cashier where he keeps the soap products. The cashier does not speak english.

Haikus are easy, But sometimes they don't make sense, Refrigerator Sex

A duck walks into a convenience store and asks for a tube of chapstick.He says "Put it on my tab".

A man walks into a vagina

What is white, sticky, and something that gay people and women love? Frosting.

What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a larger worm in your apple.

There were two penguin's sitting in a bathtub. The first penguin says to the second penguin, "Hey, pass the soap." And the second penguin says, "What do i look like, an alarm clock?"

Yo mama so poor that she's having trouble making ends meet without government assistance.

Waitress: Would you like to have a drink? Customer: (Looks at the drink's menu) Hmmmm... What are my choices? Waitress: Yes and no.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...