Uber Driver: "Hey I'm close, where are you?" Me: "oh, I see you!" Uber Driver: "Are you that guy in the middle of the road?" Me: "yeah, floor it"

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What did the Mexican firefighter name his twin sons? Nothing, his wife had an abortion.

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A penguin is walking through the snow, and comes across a polar bear with a hat on. He stops and stares at the polar bear for a second and then compliments the polar bear on his hat. The polar bear smiles and promptly consumes the penguin, building up a fat layer for the coming Winter.

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what do you call a middle-aged man with one blue suede shoe on, purple hair, pink skin, white eyes, no toenails, 67 fingers, 1 eye, a pocket watch, no clothes, and 8978967564567898765432345678765321234568909876543w245678909876543456098765323456-0987654367890-098765435678-09876543456789098765432345678909876543456789098765435678909876543234567898765323456890-987654345678900987654323456890987653234567890765434568909876543456899876543456789098765434568909876545678987654345678987654567898765434567898765478579458765456789876543223456789876543098765432123456898765432678987654230987653-098765434567898765434898765434567898765456787654567876 butt cheeks? bob.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It had completed its task on the aforementioned other side and was returning back to the coop for a feeding now that the sun had set.

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what smells like diarrhea and looks like diarrhea? diarrhea stupid

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why did the plant eat a banana? it was hungry

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What is the most hardest math known to man kind? 1+1=?

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, my dick is hard, and it's cumming for you.

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Knock knock. Who's there? The Police. Your family is dead...

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What's the difference between a Toyota Camry and 20 dead babies? I don't have 20 dead babies in my garage.

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Why did the little boy throw his clock out of the window? After hours of searching for the snooze button to no avail, the little boy became so irritated at the incessant ringing of the alarm that he threw it out of his window in a fit of rage. The clock landed on an old woman who was walking twenty stories below. She was immediately killed on impact.

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Women's Soccer.

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whats long, hairy, and has one eye? my cat fluffy, he has cancer.

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Why did the student fail his test? He forget to study for it the night before.

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tennis grunts . . . no different from sex noises

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A Scotsman, an Irishman and an Englishman walk into a bar... They enjoy their drinks and leave.

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This is an anti- joke

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Why did Rachel fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Rachel.

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Why did the chinese doctor get fired? Because he was involved in a malpractice suit.

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why did the clown fall of the swing? he got shot in the head

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Grace Ackerson

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What did you say? I'm blind. (Did not write this meaning to be offensive)

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"I vant to blood your suck!" warned Darcula.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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