What was Mozart's favorite vegetable? Aspara-gus.

Yo momma's so stupid... she scored poorly on on the SAT, failed to get into a good college, worked at a walmart and lived an otherwise mundane life.

A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

Charlie Sheen

How many owls can you fit in a bath tub?

Why did the chicken cross the road? It was in a tub of KFC

what do you call a black man flying a plane? a pilot. what do you call a woman flying a plane? 9/11.

Why is elmo sad? He was brutally raped by Dora :D

There once was a man from Nantucket, who had his car stolen and wasn't very happy so called the police.

my girlfriend had a weird fetish, she used to dress up like herself and act like a bitch all the time.

Why did the black man eat lucky charms? Because it was breakfast time and he was hungry.

There once was a man from Nantucket, Who had an average-sized penis he only used during monogamous sex with his spouse.

Why was the man white? Because he wasn't black. All credit goes to Caravel.

A black person goes up to the drive through at popeye's, what did they say? Nothing, it was closed.

What do you call a horse with a missing leg Calling it names could be considered animal abuse and should be reported immediately

What would you say if you girlfriend got hit by a train? Trick question, trains don't go through kitchens!

What is worse than waking up by your alarm clock on the weekend? 9/11

What do you call a deer with no eyes? A deer. The fact that it has no eyes doesn't change the species.

Sigh, visit me with a pack of condoms, that is so romantic... Now you tell me something, how old are you REALLY and what is your real name? Oh yeah, my first name is Tifa (I know you hate it for some reason), and I am turning 24 in 30 days.

Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house No Oh... well he hasn't either

what did the african boy get for christmas? what does his ethnicity or his place of origin have anything to do with what he gets for christmas

1500 Jews were ordered to walk a straight path whilst in the midst of a blizzard. How close did they ever get to the end? What end? They marched until every last bit of their rotten Jew flesh was driven from their weak bodies. --Amon Goeth

How many wheelchair users does it take to change a light bulb? - They are not physically capable

What do you call a bear with no teeth? A Gummy Bear!!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...