That's not mine! it's bigger and blacker! ...where have i heard this before?

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A mormon walks into a bar.

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Pickle

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What did the deaf, dumb, blind kid with two stump arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer

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What did the big Chimney say to the little Chimney? Nothing they are chimneys ....

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Wenis Penis

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whats red and brown and goes about 30mph? a squirrel in a blender.

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Why were the Dinosaurs wiped out? Porridge.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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What did the boy say after he fell out of the tree? Nothing, he died.

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What is long, hard, cries a lot, and can't fall down a man-hole? A baby with a javelin through its neck.

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whats black with purple?nothing no animals or humans have anything like that

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Knock knock. Who's there? It's me. Oh, come on in. Thanks.

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Sarah, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and even though she is a little sweaty At the moment, you realize what a beautiful woman she really is. You decide to ask her to marry You, and after she says yes, you two make passionate love in the front seat Of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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Have you ever seen a cowboy chasing boot?

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How many dead guys does it take to build a shed? None. The contractor did it for 40 dollars an hour using maple wood.

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Why was the man "hanging around"? He committed suicide.

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what did the grandma do after she was pushing up daisies? washed her hands because gardening is a dirty activity

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What did the Chinese man say to the other Chinese man? I don't know. I can't speak Chinese.

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What did Billy Mays eat for breakfast? nothing, he's dead.

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Whats The diference between a park bench and a black man? A park bench can support a family of five hahahhaahahah

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What's the difference between a BMW and a pile of dead babies? There isn't a BMW in my garage.

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I have read and agree to the Terms of Service

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Who's blind but can see, deaf but can hear, and dumb yet can solve the most complex mathematical equations? Helen Keller-Norris

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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