It's raining, its pouring, the old man is snoring. He bumps his head, and is quickly rushed to the ER for serious head trauma

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Periods are red, waffles are blue, some poems rhym, this one doesn't.

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If a tree fell in the forest, and no one was around to hear it, would you like a cupcake?

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Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill? ... To get to the bottom.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says 'Why the long face?' The horse says 'My alcoholism is destroying my family.'

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't, a car ran him over.

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How do you get a blonde to tell time? By asking her what time is it.

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What is red and has two legs? Half a cat.

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Q. What do birds and a mouse have in common... A. Nothing there two different species

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Why are ginger's jokes not funny? Because they're gingers.

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When you wish upon a star... You are only seeing the light of that star, which has taken billions of years to travel here. The star that you are looking at has most likely dead, Just like your dreams.

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What did the cannibal eat for breakfast? Waffles.

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If I had a dollar for every time I heard a 'women's rights' joke I'd be bill gates.

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Why did the 2 black kids jump the barb-wired fence To get to the other side

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What's the difference between a melon and a baby? You have to cut open the melon before you can eat it

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? A worm in your intestinal tract.

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How many kleptomaniacs does t take to screw in a lightbulb? What lightbulb?

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why was Michael Jackson at K-Mart? They offer high quality items at a reasonable price and lay-away during the holidays.

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42

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There was a little boy in kindergarten who really had to go to the bathroom. So he asked his teacher if he could go to the bathroom, and she told him he could go at snack time. The little boy really had to go to the bathroom, so he asked his teacher again, and like before, she told him to wait until it was snack time. The little boy had to go very very badly and asked the teacher one more time. This time the teacher said "if you can say the alphabet, then you can go to be bathroom" so the little boy got up all his courage and started off with "A,B,C,D,E,F,G,H,I,J,K,L,M,N,O,P,Q,R,S,T,U,V,W,X,Y and Z." Then the teacher said,"good job" and let him go to the bathroom. When he went there was a man waiting in the stall who brutally raped and murdered the boy.

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Barman: Why the long face? Horse: To support my twelve molars and twelve premolars which help me chew grass so I can swallow it properly.

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A Blonde, Brunnette, and red head are on the beach. They find a sand gene and are each granted a wish. The Brunnette wishes for a yot. The Red Head wishes to never again get sun burn. The Blonde wishes for more sun. The world is overtaken and insinerated by the sun. An alien spaceship finds the Red head in a space suit floating around randomly when they ask how she survived she says "I don't sun burn"

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I'm bad at poetry, ELEPHANTS!

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What's more annoying than dyslexic jokes? Jokes were peopel spel words rong.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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