jeffrey: Do you know what happened on the 5th of november? gerald: No jeffrey: I cant remember

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why was 6 afraid of 7? When 6 was younger, he was made fun of by all the bigger numbers. Everyday after school he would go home and wonder why he was made fun of. Was it his looks? How tall he was? The pain and suffering never stopped. He thought of suicide every day he got home from school. One day his mom got home from work and found 6 bleeding in the shower. She thought he was dead. She hurried him to the hospital where he was barely kept alive. After months of recovery, he started going back to school. The bullying never stopped, they started calling him a loser who should have died. He got older and depressed as a teenager. He got ahold of alcohol and began drinking. He went to meetings and got over his addiction. 10 years later he meets up with 7. It takes him back to his horrible childhood with the big numbers. Every time 6 sees 7, he gets reminded of everything. 7 had also murdered someone in front of 6.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Where did the drunk Mother drive? Back to the Bar because she forgot her Baby.. Except she left it left it on the roof of the car...

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A duck walks into a store and asks the clerk, "do you have any grapes?" The clerk says no, and the duck leaves. The next day, the same duck walks back into the store, and asks the clerk if they have any grapes. The clerk, slightly annoyed, says no again, and the duck leaves. The next day, the duck walks back in and asks again if they have any grapes. The pissed off clerk says, "No, and if you ask again i'm gonna nail your feet to the floor. The duck leaves. The next day, the duck walks back into the store, and this time he asks the clerk, "do you have any nails?" The clerk says, "Yes." The Duck leaves.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

There's now a sandwich named after Jerry Sandusky, it's got 60 year old meat stuffed between buns barely out of the oven.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire? Lawyers exist, are alive and despite all claims to the contrary, can withstand sunlight, garlic and the sign of the cross. They also have reflections and whilst they may eat black pudding from time to time they don't depend on blood as a source of nutrition.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What is the best way to eat a dead baby? I don't know. That is incredibly disgusting.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

How is a hamster like a cigarette? They are harmless until you stick them in your mouth and light them on fire

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why is OK SUK WHANG's name on a gravestone? She thought she was way better than okay.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

An man walks to a bra

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What did the African get for dinner? Ebola Rice

thumb_up thumb_down -5

- i send you a friend request on facebook - okay

thumb_up thumb_down -5

How did the soup lose his job? He got fired.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What did the boy say to his dad when he realized he was gay? Dad, I'm gay.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Two scientists walk into a bar. The first scientist says, "I'll have some H2O." The second scientist says, "I'll have H2O too." The bartender gives them both water, realizing that H2O2 is poisonous and that the second scientist must have simple worded his request poorly.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Roses are grey Violets are grey I am a dog.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Once, a woman told her son to be a peach and fetch some sugar. Little did she know that a genie heard her. The next day, she was horrified to find her son gone and a peach in his bed.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

why was 6 afraid of 7? because seven is a murdering sociopath

thumb_up thumb_down -5

-What's sad about four black guys driving off a cliff? -They were my friends.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Mary had a little lamb. Then Died.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Whats the difference between a cow and another cow Help my dogs eating me

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What do you do with a dog that has no legs? Take him to the vet and have him put to sleep, it's the only humane thing to do.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the Mexican cross the road? Because he was late for his uncle's funeral, which was taking place in the church across from his apartment.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

toby limbers is gonna follow in his uncles footsteps, the gay ones

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops