How can you tell your not italian? You aint no Guito!

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Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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How many spots does a giraffe have? Depends on the giraffe.

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There was a man driving his truck down a dark road, half way down the road he see's a man walking alone. He stops beside him, winds down his window and says "Oi mate, need a lift"? The man replies "yeah sure, but can i sleep in the back of the truck"? The driver replies "Yeah sure" later on as the man is sleeping he hears a big bang. "what was that" the man asks. The driver says "Don't worry i just hit a cow, go back to sleep". time goes by and he hears another bang. "W-what was that". "Don't worry i just hit a moose, go back to sleep and ill wake you when we arrive". Few moments latter he hears a tick tick bang. He gets up and yells "What was that"? The driver replies "Dont worry mate i just hit a aboriginal" The man replies "What was those two ticks before that"?. The driver says "I had to drive through two fences to hit the bastard"

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roak

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12/23/2012

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A man walks into a bar hes later assassinated and mourned by his family.

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Why don't Catholics allow people to wear condoms? Because they get stuck in the alter boys braces.

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Q:How do you confuse a blonde preschooler? A:Calculus.

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Why does Renee suck at tetris Because she has cancer.

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You know what's good for shoulder pain? If you ice on for 20 minutes then off for 20 minutes repetitively three times a day

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Why didn't Sarah come to school today? She had a heart attack and died.

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How do you make a clown cry? You hit them with an axe

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What is the biggest lie of 2011? "I do"- Kim kardashian

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Dave: Hi John! John: I have Aids.

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Did you hear about the Asian boy that entered the piano competition? He died yesterday.

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Knock Knock ...Does anybody know how to use a goddamn door bell these days?

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Help me I need to know how to cook a human fetus by tomorrow does anyone know any good recipes?

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Why did the man die? He had a terrible form of flesh-eating bacteria and he suffered a lot of pain.

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Why did the man crossed the busy road? Because he was sick of life.

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What do you do with a wombat? Allow it to freely express instinctive behaviour in its natural habitat.

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Two muffins are in an oven. After a set period of time, they finish baking and are enjoyed by the family who had made them. Two weeks later the eldest daughter contracts syphilis thanks to numerous sexual partners. She soon dies leaving her parents and brother depressed. Her brother is kidnapped by a viscous child predator and the mother commits suicide. The father gets a job with the New York Yankees. He is eaten by a genetically modified zebra.

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Whats the difference between a man and a cat. There both different species.

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What do you call a belt made of watches? A waist of time

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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