A guy takes out his club and hits a baby seal with a fine for $50 for littering and threatens to smash the seal's favorite ceramic figurine with the club if he doesn't pay the fine. The man is a park ranger and takes littering very seriously.

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What is the difference between 10 dead babies and a 1,000,000 dollar car I don't have a 1,000,00 dollar car

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The chicken just lost his job and has entered into a deep depression. He was going to commit suicide at the local KFC, but as he walked into the KFC, he saw a beautiful woman. They lived a full and happy life together until the chicken died of old age. Turns out the woman was blind, and partially deaf.

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What's more horrible than Twilight? Hitler.

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Three Men walk into a bar. One with a ax and one with a Shovel. The other one isn't holding anything. *Boom* (\ _ /) (x . x)

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News:Little boy found dead in old man's white van. Turns out the old man goes to the store and when he comes back the little boy chokes on an apple.

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there is nothing better than waking up to realise that your being hugged by your partner unless that partner is not home

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when life throws you lemons you should watch out or you might get hurt.

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What did the black guy say when he failed his math test? Crap, I failed my math test!

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Did you hear about the Dislexic Devil worshipers? They sold their soul to Santa.

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On Wednesday night, a drunk man was walking on the cliffs of dover. his funeral was saturday.

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What Happens when you shoot a deer? It's Dead

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Halt! Who goes there?! It is I, Prince Ali Ba Ba of Yo mamas house. To what do I owe this pleasure of your kindness? I come to you with gifts, relics, and spices. All these can be yours if the price is right. Surely there must be a mistake here. How do you go about by and by without a horse? Are you who you say you are? English mothafucka do you speak it?!!! What is this mothafucka do you speak of? Say what again, I dare you! I double dare you mothafucka say what one more goddddam time. Oh wait stop, hammer time...

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Whats grosser than a bloody hand? 2 bloody hands.

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What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? I'm sleeping with your wife

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David shut the fuck up your cat has asthma and i dropped a weight on its little fucking head that pikey should of drowned it furthermore your sister looks like a greasy alien

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A guy walks up to a girl and says: " hey can I have your number so can I have your text you later?" she says " no" he says " why ?" she says" guess" He says " look if you don't like me thats okay, " he gets up and walks away, turns out she doesn't have a cell phone, she was gonna give him her house number to call.

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hey i just met you, and this is crazy, i have alzheimers, hey i just met you

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What do a lamp and a elephant have in common? Big ears, except for the lamp, it doesn't have ears.

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Q: what does a worm and a fish have in common? A: they are both a worm, apart from the fish

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What do you call an attractive woman in a blender? A very rare occurrence.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead walk into a bar. They order a few drinks, chat, and walk out.

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Roses are red, Grass is greener, When I think about you, I play with my weiner

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a man walks into a bar... he was then shot to death because he was a slave in the early 1800s

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops