Stephen Hawkings may know everything about the universe, but try to get him to tie his shoes.

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What's worst than your computer breaking? Your face

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why did the dog went inside the church? because the door was open.

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Whats worse than the Holocaust? Finding two worms in your apple

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I liked your first album but I feel that it went downhill from there. There are a few good songs on your third album though.

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Q: Why did the officer stop the black SUV? A: Because it was going way over the speed limit.

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Yo mama's so poor that she's living in poverty.

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What did Stephen Hawking say to the prostitute? A several garbled and mostly inaudible comment that she could not understand.

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Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you. I slipped you a roofie, get ready for me.

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My mom says to me are you gay and i say are you gay (What did i just do)

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What's better than getting second place in the paralympics? Having legs.

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How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family

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"Imagine a World Without Free Knowledge" -I'm not imagining, thanks Wikipedia!

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What's brown and sticky? Syrup.

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How do you get a baby in a bowl? You put it in.

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Why are you a chicken? Because I say cock-a-doodle doo

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A grandma writes to her young grandson every day over e-mail with funny lines and pictures,He shows his parents a joke she sent him it reads- "A guy walks into a bar.. He says ouch" They then read on and call the police.They say "Son go to your room.. you're being stalked by a pedophile.. Your grandma has been dead since last year.. we are sorry"

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What did the fat man say when he saw the giant twinky on the billboard? I wish that twinky was real, because I am too poor to pay my bills, am getting audited, and cannot feed my four children on minimum wage.

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Two men walk into a bar. You would think at least one of them would've seen it.

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There once was a man from Duluth who's never did rhyme. They were often too short.

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Where did Susie go during the bombings? Susie was wandering around the streets as she felt like she didn't know where she was any more. Everything was burnt to ashes. She came across a man who she has never met. He tells her to follow him. She did.Later, Susie, the mysterious man and a few other people with him were in a private meeting room. The mysterious man tells Susie that he was a Frenchman and he was with the resistance. A few minutes later, the bombs were dropping everywhere. The meeting room was destroyed and Susie, the Frenchman and his men were under attack. The French resistance were about to fight, but retreated - for they were French. Susie was left, lying there as she saw a bomb in the sky about to land on her. She tried to get up and run, but the bomb was too fast. It got her. So yeah. Susie went everywhere, like you lot said.

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A black man walks into a bar and orders a shot. He then precedes to drink it.

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What do you call an asian plumber? A plumber.

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I will see it when I believe it, as far as your order or whatever goes, I have already taken a look, and its nothing for me, you hide behind idealism yet use cruel methods and inhuman tactics in order to justify your means, you hide behind a shell of fucking "charm" and employ people to harass others. YOU ARE NO FUCKING BETTER THAN THE REST! YOU ARE BENEATH ME! As for that sister fucking bullshit, joke is on you, I do not have a sister! I bet that was one of your fucking "Nero`s" all six billion of your fucking personality disorders. Moral: I am the FUCKING MORAL MAN! And while I do not have a sister to rape, ill get down with yours.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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