''Hey, this is absolutely true. There's an organization now called 'Draft Dick Cheney for President, 2012.' Yeah. Good luck with that. They tried to draft Dick Cheney five times during Vietnam. That didn't work.

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Why didn't the man walk done the stairs? Because he had no legs

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What's worse than having to listen a song from Justin Bieber? Being wrongfully convicted of child molestation,rape and murder and spending 50 years in prison before being acquited by DNA-analysis.

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How do you make a dentist cry? Kill all his family.

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What did the female lady person say to the baby? Get Some.

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how do you make a plumber sad? Kill his family

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A man noticed that the sun was coming in brightly through his window. He was trying to take a nap and didnt appreciate the sunlight. He closed the blinds.

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Boy:U a dime Girl: she said ur a quarter Boy:-_- dumb B***h

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A woman is walking down the street. A midget approaches her and with his keen sense of smell, informs the tall woman of her delicious scent and says, "Ma'am your hair smells lovely, may I please take a closer sniff?" Then woman obliges and the midget is arrested for alleged rape, or as he put it, trying to sniff her vagina.

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Why was the black man afraid of leaving his house? Because he has severe agoraphobia and cannot function normally in society.

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What is the funniest joke in the world? Written.

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Boy: Hey girl see these arms? They are just dying to be wrapped around you! She stabs him dead End of story

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WHATS FASTER THAN INTERNET BUSTA RYMES

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Why did the clown get in the car? Because he can.

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A man sits on the toilet to take a shit And is surprised to find the next door neighbours dog in the toilet.

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A snail buys a car from a dealership, and then asks the manager if he could paint a large S on the side of the car. The manager agrees, and the snail drives away. From the parking lot, the manager sees the car go straight on to the highway and get hit by a truck. Unfortunately, snails cannot drive.

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roses are red violets are blue polar bears are white grass tends to be green

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What is the street value of Amy Winehouse's ashes? Nothing. They are ashes, not drugs.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Come in! Come in who? I'm just com in' inside.

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"I see" said the blind man to the deaf man... On the phone

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What's greenish blue, smelly, and mushy? The fungus under my sink.

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So I saw my asian friend at the beach on a really sunny day, so I said hi.

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What Did The Kid With No Arms And No Legs Get For His Birthday? A Walking Stick

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Wanna know my life in a nutshell? Well you can't. Life is an inanimate object an will therefore not fit inside anything, let alone a nutshell.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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