What's greenish blue, smelly, and mushy? The fungus under my sink.

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Everytime God shuts a door, he opens a window... ...But I am the Goddamn locksmith!

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You see this dick stop being a spick now suck on my wee wee u prick

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Why did Maggie shit herself? Because she saw her son.

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A Jew and a Neo-Nazi meet in a bar. They put aside their differences and enjoy a few rounds of drinks.

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What happened to the little girl who fell into the lake? She was rescued and made a complete recovery.

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Get out".

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Do cows get breast cancer or utter cancer?

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What did the man in the mirror say to the other man The Same F****** Thing!!

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Whats funnier than watching the kid next to you on the computer? Nothing because he is still trying to figure out that i unplugged his mouse!

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What did the Goldfish say to the Black man? Nothing, because Goldfish do not have human-like vocal cords and therefore the Goldfish cannot speak.

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Daughter: Mom can i watch a movie? Mom: Sure. Daughter: Thanks mom! You're the best mom in the world! Well....Mary is, since she had Jesus.....But anyway. Thanks!

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The neighbours challenged me to a water fight so I am updating Anti jokes while i let the kettle boil.

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Stephen Hawking is so paranoid, always looking over his shoulder.

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How much does a polar bear weigh? It depends, but most weigh around 775 to 1,200 pounds.

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why did the blue berry cross the road

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What happened when the president cut the hedge That is a highly improbable solution because he would probably have a body guard do it.

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Oh please! Come on! Those that got to us where mostly Russians remember? And what where my parents? (if you do not know you might have guessed it by now) I found a guy that looked about the same as me, messed him up and put my jacket on him, I do not die that easily. Anyway, id explain more, but I have been without these fucking painkillers so long that I am talking trash on this stupid site again... Seriously the pain I am used to, but this addiction on painkillers is a bitch... (shedog if censor got a hold on it) But it turns out I cant sleep without them, sleep just does not come anymore, so Ill go get some now. Who are you by the way? I am Nero7, Aka Axel Knight.

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So I saw my asian friend at the beach on a really sunny day, so I said hi.

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What's worse than the common cold? The Plague.

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Your mamas so stupid, her IQ is lower than the average person of her age group.

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Why did the communist fail his history class? Because he didn't study hard enough.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Suzie!

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There was three women stuck on an island, a blonde, a brunette and a ranga. They are saved days later.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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