Why did the little girl stop riding her bike? She was hit by a car.

Jesse uses a prescription shampoo called " greasey poop" because he feels like his hair doesnt look greasy enough. He cries himself asleep every night because he wants a slim body like the rest of the cool kids, so he eats his pain away, which digs him an even deeper hole. the life of Jesse zigenbein is quite tragic to say the least. Please donate 10$ to the "eat ourselves to sleep" campaign

What do you get when you cross a cow with an elephant? A deformed organism

What store adopted the dog ? The Pound

Knock Knock. Who's there? Knock Knock. I said who's there? Knock Knock. WHO THE FUCK'S THERE, GODDAMNIT? Knock Knock. PLEASE STOP IT STOP IT OH GOD STOP IT Knock Knock SWEET DEAR JESUS GOD CHRIST STOPSTOPOHGODSTOPITNOW Knock Knock. FORGODSSAKECOMEIN. Hello, Mark. Oh, hi, Steven.

Knock knock Get off my porch homo

a horse walks into an abandoned lighthouse , the lighthouse keeper is angered by this and ushers the horse to leave but the horse gets startled and kicks the mans bookshelf over before galloping away

David shut the fuck up your cat has asthma and i dropped a weight on its little fucking head that pikey should of drowned it furthermore your sister looks like a greasy alien

What do you do when life gives you lemons? You apparently are not a fan of lemons what so ever, so you then throw them away, not knowing what to expect.

Why do bears go to school on Sunday's? They don't, bears don't go to school.

What is the difference between a bright red Ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

If my wife has got 6 oranges in one hand and 6 apples in the other hand, what has she got? No chance of stopping an uppercut.

Q: Why was the cook put in jail. A: He has killed 2 people and robbed several stores

so today, i was walking along, and i noticed that it was sunny outside.

Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was a woman.

Why did the white guy sit on the toilet? So he could take a poop.

Q: What is the answer to 255 x 23? A: A number!

How many chickens does it take to cross the road? It only takes 1 chicken to cross the road. You don't need a lot.

Q:What the worst lie you have ever told??!!???!?!?!?!? A: I have read and agree to the Terms and Service

A dyslexic man walks into a bra. It was hanging on a clothes line he didn't see, the fact that he was dyslexic is irellevant.

What's black and white and red all over? I don't know either.

Your momma so stupid, she speaks poorly and can't spell very well.

Why was little Jimmy sad? Because his mum died.

Stephen Hawking walks into a bar.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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