A man is at the doctor's office and the doctor says to the man: "I'm sorry sir, you have AIDS and Alzheimer's disease." The man says: "Well, at least I don't have AIDS!"

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The sword that kills, the sword that gives life.

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Matthew Wyckoff

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Yo mama's chest is so flat that it's because she has stage five breast cancer and had to get both her breasts removed.

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Why did they name the team mavericks and why Was the maskot a horse? Because 50 years ago they found a blue horse And its name was maverick

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What did the dog say to the human? Nothing really. Dogs technically "speak" through barking.

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what did joe eat for breakfast? he didn't eat, joe is schizophrenic steve's best friend

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Why are rich people usually fat? They're living large

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swag

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What is invisible and smells like rabbits? Bunny farts.

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What's the difference between a hipster and a steaming pile of shit? Many things.

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I hear eating an apple a day keeps the other apples in check.

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Why did the little girl run to her mother? Because she saw a police inspector, who had already tried to kill her several times that week, aiming a poison dart at her forehead.

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Why do monkeys fly with their wings? Because Elephants tend to run out of battery.

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Why did the goat cross the road. To put his sacrifices into the pentagram.

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why did the girl cry while watching starwars? She was being raped

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Q: Hey, ask me if I'm a tree. ".. Are you a tree?" A: No.

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Iif your reading this ur gay

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SHUT UP, yes you... WHAT DID I JUST SAY!!!!

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Dennis: you can make anything out of coppersulfate Austin: But copper sulfate can make things out of you

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Well, its Eliza again, sorry to bother you Nero, I always thought you where good looking but I know that when it comes to you its not about the looks, you are far more than meets the eye. Neo-Nero was the guy we met at a certain meeting, the arrogant guy with the big forehead whose arms where shaking remember? I wont reveal more for his sake, he did not mean bad, he was just angry like the rest of us and felt responsible, again like many of us. So when can we meet you? I assume you wont be arriving soon, but Id really apreciate seeing you again, and considering neither I nor my parents (I asked them) have the money to come visit you, id appreciate a loan or something.

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Why did the black man cross the road? To rape the girl on the other side.

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What's up with women with there jewlery it's there's best friend,but a black man's best friend is reames..

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What did the book say to it's reader? What are you stupid? People who read can't hear!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops