"knock knock" "who's there" *no answer* Opens door to find dead wife lying on doorstep with 'lol' stamped on forehead

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4 men walk into a bar. They have fun. ~Yasmin~

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How long does it take jimmy hoffa to screw in a light bulb? A: Jimmy Hoffa is dead and incapable of screwing in a light bulb, however if you change the tense of the question to "how long WOULD Jimmy Hoffa HAVE TAKEN to screw in a light bulb" then the approximate answer would be around 1 1/2 minutes if Mr Hoffa had proper dexterity an motor control that was comparable to the average human.

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Q: Why are there no tablets in the jungle? A: The pharmaceutical logistics involved would be enormous and would make very little business sense.

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Why did the stoner visit anti-joke.com? Because he was bored, and probably kinda high.

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Little Timmy enjoyed school He went to Sandy Hooks

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Why doesnt mexico have an olympic team? Because everyone who can run, jump, or swim in already in america.

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What's easier than a whore? Doesn't matter, your mom's a whore either way.

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A baby seal walks into a club. The man holding the club skins him and makes a lot of money.

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PS3 has the exerrent technorogy and finersse to make excerrent gaming such as... ...ITS RIDGE RACER! RIIIIIIIIIDGE RACEEEEEEEEEEEER!

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Howmany licks does it take till you get to the tootsie roll center of tootsie pop? Well, The answer is not constant. There are many variables that need to be taken into account. Though the ph level of human saliva is a neutral seven it can vary about 2 tenths of a point from person to person. This is a factor that needs to be considered along with the size of the tongue, roughness of the tongue, and at what speed the licking is taking place at. After taking all these variables into consideration, the average number of licks it would take untill the chocolate center of a tootsie pop is approximately, 3 .

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why did the man slip on the knife? he wanted to commit suicide

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Why did the woman leave the kitchen? Because she wasn't a woman

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y was John so sad becaus his mom took his phone

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There are fewer coppers on sundays. As well as criminality.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms and she was blind.

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How many kids with ADHD does it take to change a lightbulb? Let's go play on our bikes.

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The little girl asks her father "Daddy why is santa fat?" "you have to exist to lose weight" he answered

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How do you make a miner sad? You cut his d*ck off then feed it to his family.

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What did one dog say the the other dog? "We are both dogs"

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Why did Sally cross the road? Because a rapist was chasing her

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why did the white man walk into the bar? He was thirsty

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Why was the black man unemployed and in debt? Because current socio-economic realities and systematic racial discrimination place him at a disadvantage in terms of education and employment. Indeed, it is statistically probable that he was raised below the poverty-line, greatly limiting his opportunities from a young age.

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Why did Emily sit in a lonely corner? Because she just wanted to okay!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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