Your mother is so fat that she is considered morbidly obese. In fact, she should seriously consider a weight loss diet to reduce her risk of heart disease and diabetes.

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A man walked into a bar. Too bad he didn't see it.The man was sent to the hospital 2 hours later when a friendly elderly lady found him badly wounded on the ground.

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Q. Where do all funny jokes come from? A. The people who made them up

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What's small, pale blue and sits at the bottom of the pool? "An over ripe blueberry."

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Knock Knock "Who's there?" "This is Frank from Walside Windows just wondering if you wou..." (Door Slams Shut) "Damn those people are annoying"..

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whats the difference between a Jew and a piece of pizza? pizza doesn't scream when its in the oven.

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Why did helen kellers dog committ suicide? You would to if you had massive clinical depression.

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How did the old man die? His family locked him in the basement and then burned the house

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Why did the baby cross the road? Because ti was stapled to the chicken.

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How many Jehovah's Witnesses does it take to screw in a light bulb? 2. One to firmly hold the ladder and the other to cautiously screw it in. They are volunteering at the local orphanage and it is wrong to make fun of there religion. We are all different in our own special way.

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What is rectangular, white and has two wheels? A limo getting its wheels replaced.

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- What's better than just sitting on a couch in a summerhouse with a bottle of wine and reading a good book? - An orgy.

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Why was the curious black guy a good Lumberjack? He was always axin'.

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A: How can you tell a tree is an aspen? B: 'Cause of the way it is.

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Whenever someone asks you why you're sad, always remember this simple answer so that people won't keep asking you more questions: "Because Hitler died"

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Why did the boy fail his final? His severe depression and progressive detachment from reality caused him to hang himself the night before

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Knock, Knock Who's there? Dave. Dave, who? Dave, your neighbor, I ran out of eggs making a quiche, could I borrow a few?

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What did the black girl say when sho dropped her phone? Oh crap, I dropped my phone.

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Q: what smells like cheese and tastes like cheese? A: cheese

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what's worse than failing a test? having your house burnt down

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. It was hit by a fridge halfway through walking.

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How do you make a baby stop crying for the rest of its life? Shoot it in the face.

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What's bad about being a ghost with no arms or legs? You're dead.

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there was once a time before tht time when there wasnt bonerss there were erectionss CC

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops