Two scientists walk into a bar. The first scientist says, "I'll have some H2O." The second scientist says, "I'll have H2O too." The bartender gives them both water, realizing that H2O2 is poisonous and that the second scientist must have simple worded his request poorly.

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"My, what big teeth you have!" exclaimed Little Red Riding Hood. "Because I'm a wolf," explained the wolf. "And I dress in women's clothing because it makes me happier."

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A guy walks into a doughnut shop and says "I'll have a small coffee and a doughnut." The shop keeper says, "I'm sorry we ran out of coffee." The guy says, "All right I'll just have coffee than"

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Q: What kind of time is it when you fall from a ladder and are moments from landing straight on a operational circle saw? Moral: ITS TIME TO SPLIT!

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Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up on its own? The kickstand was broken and the child whom of which owned the bicycle no longer had the need for training wheels.

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I have a friend named Dave, he lost his ID and now we call mim Dav

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A black guy and a jew walk into a country club, within minutes, they are told to leave and never come back in order to avoid being contaminated by the radioactive waste left by a landfill company cutting corners in safety regulations

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Why did Todd have intimacy problems? He was molested as a child.

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your mama's so ugly, she suffers from chronic deppression.

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What's black and self-describing? The words of this joke.

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The boy gets shot in the face, he then dies of childhood obesity.

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What did the kid tell his father? Go away, I'm watching elmo!

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your mother is so obese, that she really should look into eating a well balanced diet and taking part in an excercise plan that suits her

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Yo mama so stupid, she signed an apointment with Dr. Pepper

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What makes the turtle move? It's legs.

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Connor is homosexuaI

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Why did the black man buy a gun? because he wanted to go hunting.

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Why can't Kim and Arnold get childern ? because they are 2 stones.

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What did the horse say to it's owner? It didn't horses can't talk

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360 NO SCOPE

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Technically rainbows are white.....and have gold at the end.

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Why was the girl crying when she got home? She got raped and mugged on the walk home

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An Englishman, a Welshman, an Irishman and a Scotsman are all stranded on a desert island. After several days spent utilizing the survival skills they had been taught in the Royal Navy, they were eventually evacuated by fellow sailors searching for them. As the only survivors, their stories were vital in preventing such shipwrecks in future.

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Why did the dinosaur rent a DVD in Redbox about a sex? Because he didn't own a Blu-Ray player.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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