How do you find the richest man in Mexico? Go through government records and tax files and find the person with the highest salary

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Whats the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One is fun to smash with a hammer. The other is a watermelon.

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A black man and a white man were on an island. They lived in England.

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What did the Jew do before the movie? He turned off his cell phone.

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What is an offensive way to refer to black people from the time of the Flint Stones? Niggers

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Omar the Magnificent is performing a huge magic show at a theater in New York City. His final trick will be to have his assistant saw him in half in front of the sold out crowd. Omar never knew how other magicians perform the trick. The crowd of hundreds watches Omar's assistant brutally murder him onstage and many require mental therapy for years to come.

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How many mice does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Just two, the mystery is how mice can get inside a lightbulb.

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What did the fat man say to the other far man Hey your fat

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What did the man say to the other man? I would have no clue because I am deaf

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Why did the road cross the chicken? Well, according to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

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What did Santa say when he fell down? Ouch

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What's the color of the sky when an airplane takes off? Blue. What are you, stupid?

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Why couldn't Sophie brush her hair? She had leukemia

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Q: whats white and smells like shit A: my ass

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a blind man walks off a cliff..... he's dead now.

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What's long and blackand goes all night? night time

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What is the difference between a pile of dead babies and a Ferrari? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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Why did the sailor fall off the boat? Because vampires arent real.

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How many dead babies does it take to change a lightbulb? None they're dead

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Want to hear a joke? Too bad.

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Roses are reb, Violets are dlue, Forgive my spelling, I'm byslexic.

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9/11

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I used to work as a human cannonball. I thought I was going to get fired, however during one performance the trajectory was miscalculated and I ended up severely damaging my spinal cord. I now work from home as a IT consultant. It's depressing.

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why can't dead peaple have sex? because they're dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops